Bracing for Impact
I struggle with the concept of love
More specifically, understanding what love is
Instead of losing myself inside of it
My mind recognizes little hints of love here and there
I can hear it in a voice or feel it in a touch
I see it in actions that don’t have an underlying meaning
But my body is in panic mode most of the time
Trying to figure out what is accompanying the love
Whether it’s loss, control, abandonment, or pain
There’s something untrue about something that’s supposed to be the truest
Like always waiting for the shoe to drop
But I’m starting to realize that’s the problem
Not love itself
But the way I brace for it
Like it’s something that happens to me
Instead of something I’m allowed to comfortably exist in
Something I keep trying to solve
Instead of something I’m supposed to feel
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