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Bottled Water

fresh flowing water 

denied freedom of movement 

       trapped in a bottle


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Paul Callus ~ 20th July 2014
Contest: One Solo EPIC Senryu or Haiku - In a Bottle
Sponsor: Poet Destroyer A
Placing: 2nd

freedomwaterhaiku

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Poet Destroyer A

April 5, 2015 at 10:41 PM

GOOD NIGHT... LINDA

Paul Callus

April 6, 2015 at 8:26 AM

...back with good afternoon.....here we are around 5hrs before you! // paul

James Fraser

January 21, 2015 at 3:56 PM

Like many a life, trapped in a bottle, nowhere to go, no flow, stagnant. Fine Haiku Sir, James.........>

Paul Callus

January 21, 2015 at 4:13 PM

Thank you James! I like your contribution to the 'in' reading of the poem; it all makes sense. All the best. // paul

Timothy Hicks

October 31, 2014 at 2:39 PM

Maybe I didn't do best in science class, but I always thought of water as living?? Perhaps because it gives life is the reason why I think like that... *shrugs*

Paul Callus

October 31, 2014 at 4:21 PM

In itself water is non-living, but all living organisms depend on it to live, therefore it is regarded as a giver of life. The Japanese believe that it has a spirit, but then they also believe the same of stones, mountains, etc. :) // paul

Timothy Hicks

October 31, 2014 at 12:23 AM

Interesting! Your middle line says the most for me... denied freedom of movement. It gives me pause, halfway making one feel guilty about even drinking it. I like this haiku because you're describing something very simplistic and yet you bring new thoughts to it... should we drink water simply to live? Or should we learn to live more spontaneously... take a gulp from the stream now and then.

Paul Callus

October 31, 2014 at 12:21 PM

Once more I have to applaud your insightful dissertation of this haiku, Timothy. Water as such in non-living, but poetically I like to personify it...and I feel for water that loses its liberty. Drinking a bottle of water is giving it freedom (in a way!), though one might look at it like jumping from the frying pan into the fire!! Your last sentence makes for interesting debate:) // paul

Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty

October 22, 2014 at 8:48 AM

It is. Even the kids are packaged. Love}};; rajat

Paul Callus

October 22, 2014 at 11:02 AM

You are right, Rajat:) thank you for stopping by on diwali day! // paul

Muhammad Safa Thajudeen

October 7, 2014 at 9:23 PM

A nice haiku.

Paul Callus

October 8, 2014 at 8:39 AM

Thank you Muhammad; you are always welcome to visit. // paul

Poet Destroyer A

September 3, 2014 at 10:49 AM

Hi Paul, stopping by to say hi, and thank you for reading my latest poem. It is true, I am numb when it comes to love. SO in a way, I don't feel a man should waste his time on me.... LINDA

Paul Callus

October 8, 2014 at 9:01 AM

You are too hard on yourself, Linda. When passing through troubled waters we tend to look at many things negatively; it's time, maybe, to bury the past and look ahead with optimism../x/..paul

Poet Destroyer A

September 2, 2014 at 10:24 AM

ha, glad you enjoyed the win... thank you for the reply Paul...Linda

Paul Callus

September 2, 2014 at 12:20 PM

Hi Linda.....just read your latest silent heart-breaking poem; hope you are finding your feet and keeping well. Getting things off your chest is a useful safety valve. Take care. // pau

Dr.Ram Mehta

August 21, 2014 at 4:55 AM

NIce won. Congrats on the win, Paul

Paul Callus

August 21, 2014 at 11:05 AM

Thank you for stopping by with nice wishes, Dr. // paul

Casarah Nance

August 20, 2014 at 9:21 PM

I am so lucky to have really good well water, it makes bottled water taste funny. your haiku was awesome Paul. :) grats on your win sweetie ;)

Paul Callus

August 21, 2014 at 10:50 AM

You are kind and sweet, Casarah (except when you produce poison bottles!!) I enjoyed your winning haiku. I take it you live out in the country....I do. :) // paul

Faye Gibson

August 20, 2014 at 8:19 PM

Congratulations, Paul; this is a good one.

Paul Callus

August 21, 2014 at 10:53 AM

Thank you Faye. Glad you like it. (Hope you got your broken bottle fixed by now:)) // paul

D.W. Rodgers

August 20, 2014 at 7:46 PM

Great may I pass this on to our local Water Watch? congrats on your win.

Paul Callus

August 21, 2014 at 11:04 AM

Sure...and thank you for stopping by; I must make it a point to read more of your poetry. // paul

Tim Smith

August 20, 2014 at 6:01 PM

Wonderful Paul....bring one in to work every night...congrats

Paul Callus

August 21, 2014 at 11:02 AM

Thank you Tim. I see you're out of the bottle; might take you up on those 3 wishes:) // paul

David Mohn

August 20, 2014 at 5:58 PM

Congrats Paul...quite a concept

Paul Callus

August 21, 2014 at 10:58 AM

Thank you David. I was won over by your ship in the bottle...excellent write. // paul

John Lawless

August 20, 2014 at 5:20 PM

Paul, if people read the labels.....one brand showing ice capped mountains is "purified by osmotic...something or other" The water is drawn from an Arizona aquifer.

Paul Callus

August 21, 2014 at 10:56 AM

Yes, John....most bottled water is being 'manufactured' in various ways to keep up with the great demand. Thanks for stopping by. // paul

Andrea Dietrich

August 20, 2014 at 3:08 PM

I really like this one! Congrats for your win.

Paul Callus

August 20, 2014 at 3:15 PM

Thank you Andrea for re-visiting with congrats; I appreciate that. // paul

Dr. Upma A. Sharma

August 20, 2014 at 11:15 AM

An awesome haiku Paul! Denying freedom n trapping water ,, wow! I love free flowing fresh streams n rivers! Congrats on huge win!

Julia Ward

March 2, 2015 at 5:24 AM

As you like Haiku, Upma, I invite you to read mine, all of which have been admired, including one of yesterday called "Scent". Best wishes, Julia

Paul Callus

August 20, 2014 at 1:20 PM

Thank you Upma. Every time I see bottles of water stacked on shelves or in crates this always crosses my mind. It reminds me of wild animals that are deprived of their freedom and shut up in cages. Have a nice day. // paul

Jan Allison

August 20, 2014 at 10:09 AM

dropping back with my congrats Paul:-) hugs jan xx

Paul Callus

August 20, 2014 at 1:12 PM

Hi Jan! thank you for re-visiting and for your wishes!:) hugs // paul

Poet Destroyer A

August 20, 2014 at 9:31 AM

Awesome Paul, Congratulations!!! Thank you for the awesome Bottled Up senryu. Stop by my latest blog, "You Sunk My "BATTLESHIP" :)" if you like. I enjoyed closing this contest. Always ~LINDA~

Paul Callus

August 20, 2014 at 12:51 PM

Thank you Linda....for once again having me on your winning list. It was a result worth waiting for:) /x/ paul

Charmaine Chircop

July 22, 2014 at 3:48 PM

This is even more powerful than your last.I love haiku,they`re not easy to write,but gives so much in just three lines,once finished.Excellent job here.

Paul Callus

July 22, 2014 at 6:05 PM

I'm glad you prefer this to the other one; that puts my mind at rest:) Goodnight (1am) // paul

Charmaine Chircop

July 22, 2014 at 3:49 PM

give I meant : )Oops

Kash Poet

July 22, 2014 at 9:26 AM

Thanks for visiting my page Paul.Enjoyed your bottle haiku.Best wishes for the contest.

Paul Callus

July 22, 2014 at 9:30 AM

Thank you Kash; I welcome your visit with open arms. // paul

Richard Lamoureux

July 22, 2014 at 8:06 AM

It will be moving soon enough, from clear to yellow streams *lol*. This one made me smile, a clever piece my friend.

Paul Callus

July 22, 2014 at 9:10 AM

Thank you for your clever remark, Richard! I assume that already much of bottled water is far from being the pure, sparkling natural water which we see advertised! // paul

Sara Kendrick

July 22, 2014 at 5:45 AM

Enjoyed this one..Got a chuckle as well..It soon will be freed though..Thanks for the visit to my page..Sara

Paul Callus

July 22, 2014 at 8:54 AM

Ay, you're right Sara! but freedom usually comes at a price. Thanks for stopping by...always welcome. // paul

Regina Mcintosh

July 22, 2014 at 1:03 AM

I enjoyed this - it's excellent. God bless you and thank you once again for your kindness in reading and commenting on my poem. God bless you.

Paul Callus

July 22, 2014 at 1:30 AM

Thank you Regina; so glad you found this to your liking. You write well and I'll gladly visit again, time permitting. // paul

Andrea Dietrich

July 21, 2014 at 4:47 PM

very nice one. Water trapped. For a short time it serves a good purpose, however! That could be a metaphor for something!!

Paul Callus

July 21, 2014 at 6:07 PM

Right you are Andrea...it is also a metaphor, but not enough words to elaborate. After the contest I might be tempted to add another haiku. // paul

Bottled Water

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