Get Your Premium Membership

Bottled Water

fresh flowing water denied freedom of movement trapped in a bottle ----------------------------------------------------------- Paul Callus ~ 20th July 2014 Contest: One Solo EPIC Senryu or Haiku - In a Bottle Sponsor: Poet Destroyer A Placing: 2nd

Copyright © | Year Posted 2014




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

12
Date: 4/5/2015 10:41:00 PM
GOOD NIGHT... LINDA
Login to Reply
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 4/6/2015 8:26:00 AM
...back with good afternoon.....here we are around 5hrs before you! // paul
Date: 1/21/2015 3:56:00 PM
Like many a life, trapped in a bottle, nowhere to go, no flow, stagnant. Fine Haiku Sir, James.........>
Login to Reply
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 1/21/2015 4:13:00 PM
Thank you James! I like your contribution to the 'in' reading of the poem; it all makes sense. All the best. // paul
Date: 10/31/2014 2:39:00 PM
Maybe I didn't do best in science class, but I always thought of water as living?? Perhaps because it gives life is the reason why I think like that... *shrugs*
Login to Reply
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 10/31/2014 4:21:00 PM
In itself water is non-living, but all living organisms depend on it to live, therefore it is regarded as a giver of life. The Japanese believe that it has a spirit, but then they also believe the same of stones, mountains, etc. :) // paul
Date: 10/31/2014 12:23:00 AM
Interesting! Your middle line says the most for me... denied freedom of movement. It gives me pause, halfway making one feel guilty about even drinking it. I like this haiku because you're describing something very simplistic and yet you bring new thoughts to it... should we drink water simply to live? Or should we learn to live more spontaneously... take a gulp from the stream now and then.
Login to Reply
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 10/31/2014 12:21:00 PM
Once more I have to applaud your insightful dissertation of this haiku, Timothy. Water as such in non-living, but poetically I like to personify it...and I feel for water that loses its liberty. Drinking a bottle of water is giving it freedom (in a way!), though one might look at it like jumping from the frying pan into the fire!! Your last sentence makes for interesting debate:) // paul
Date: 10/22/2014 8:48:00 AM
It is. Even the kids are packaged. Love}};; rajat
Login to Reply
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 10/22/2014 11:02:00 AM
You are right, Rajat:) thank you for stopping by on diwali day! // paul
Date: 10/7/2014 9:23:00 PM
A nice haiku.
Login to Reply
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 10/8/2014 8:39:00 AM
Thank you Muhammad; you are always welcome to visit. // paul
Date: 9/3/2014 10:49:00 AM
Hi Paul, stopping by to say hi, and thank you for reading my latest poem. It is true, I am numb when it comes to love. SO in a way, I don't feel a man should waste his time on me.... LINDA
Login to Reply
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 10/8/2014 9:01:00 AM
You are too hard on yourself, Linda. When passing through troubled waters we tend to look at many things negatively; it's time, maybe, to bury the past and look ahead with optimism../x/..paul
Date: 9/2/2014 10:24:00 AM
ha, glad you enjoyed the win... thank you for the reply Paul...Linda
Login to Reply
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 9/2/2014 12:20:00 PM
Hi Linda.....just read your latest silent heart-breaking poem; hope you are finding your feet and keeping well. Getting things off your chest is a useful safety valve. Take care. // pau
Date: 8/21/2014 4:55:00 AM
NIce won. Congrats on the win, Paul
Login to Reply
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 8/21/2014 11:05:00 AM
Thank you for stopping by with nice wishes, Dr. // paul
Date: 8/20/2014 9:21:00 PM
I am so lucky to have really good well water, it makes bottled water taste funny. your haiku was awesome Paul. :) grats on your win sweetie ;)
Login to Reply
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 8/21/2014 10:50:00 AM
You are kind and sweet, Casarah (except when you produce poison bottles!!) I enjoyed your winning haiku. I take it you live out in the country....I do. :) // paul
Date: 8/20/2014 8:19:00 PM
Congratulations, Paul; this is a good one.
Login to Reply
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 8/21/2014 10:53:00 AM
Thank you Faye. Glad you like it. (Hope you got your broken bottle fixed by now:)) // paul
Date: 8/20/2014 7:46:00 PM
Great may I pass this on to our local Water Watch? congrats on your win.
Login to Reply
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 8/21/2014 11:04:00 AM
Sure...and thank you for stopping by; I must make it a point to read more of your poetry. // paul
Date: 8/20/2014 6:01:00 PM
Wonderful Paul....bring one in to work every night...congrats
Login to Reply
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 8/21/2014 11:02:00 AM
Thank you Tim. I see you're out of the bottle; might take you up on those 3 wishes:) // paul
Date: 8/20/2014 5:58:00 PM
Congrats Paul...quite a concept
Login to Reply
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 8/21/2014 10:58:00 AM
Thank you David. I was won over by your ship in the bottle...excellent write. // paul
Date: 8/20/2014 5:20:00 PM
Paul, if people read the labels.....one brand showing ice capped mountains is "purified by osmotic...something or other" The water is drawn from an Arizona aquifer.
Login to Reply
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 8/21/2014 10:56:00 AM
Yes, John....most bottled water is being 'manufactured' in various ways to keep up with the great demand. Thanks for stopping by. // paul
Date: 8/20/2014 3:08:00 PM
I really like this one! Congrats for your win.
Login to Reply
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 8/20/2014 3:15:00 PM
Thank you Andrea for re-visiting with congrats; I appreciate that. // paul
Date: 8/20/2014 11:15:00 AM
An awesome haiku Paul! Denying freedom n trapping water ,, wow! I love free flowing fresh streams n rivers! Congrats on huge win!
Login to Reply
Ward Avatar
Julia Ward
Date: 3/2/2015 5:24:00 AM
As you like Haiku, Upma, I invite you to read mine, all of which have been admired, including one of yesterday called "Scent". Best wishes, Julia
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 8/20/2014 1:20:00 PM
Thank you Upma. Every time I see bottles of water stacked on shelves or in crates this always crosses my mind. It reminds me of wild animals that are deprived of their freedom and shut up in cages. Have a nice day. // paul
Date: 8/20/2014 10:09:00 AM
dropping back with my congrats Paul:-) hugs jan xx
Login to Reply
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 8/20/2014 1:12:00 PM
Hi Jan! thank you for re-visiting and for your wishes!:) hugs // paul
Date: 8/20/2014 9:31:00 AM
Awesome Paul, Congratulations!!! Thank you for the awesome Bottled Up senryu. Stop by my latest blog, "You Sunk My "BATTLESHIP" :)" if you like. I enjoyed closing this contest. Always ~LINDA~
Login to Reply
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 8/20/2014 12:51:00 PM
Thank you Linda....for once again having me on your winning list. It was a result worth waiting for:) /x/ paul
Date: 7/22/2014 3:48:00 PM
This is even more powerful than your last.I love haiku,they`re not easy to write,but gives so much in just three lines,once finished.Excellent job here.
Login to Reply
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 7/22/2014 6:05:00 PM
I'm glad you prefer this to the other one; that puts my mind at rest:) Goodnight (1am) // paul
Chircop Avatar
Charmaine Chircop
Date: 7/22/2014 3:49:00 PM
give I meant : )Oops
Date: 7/22/2014 9:26:00 AM
Thanks for visiting my page Paul.Enjoyed your bottle haiku.Best wishes for the contest.
Login to Reply
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 7/22/2014 9:30:00 AM
Thank you Kash; I welcome your visit with open arms. // paul
Date: 7/22/2014 8:06:00 AM
It will be moving soon enough, from clear to yellow streams *lol*. This one made me smile, a clever piece my friend.
Login to Reply
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 7/22/2014 9:10:00 AM
Thank you for your clever remark, Richard! I assume that already much of bottled water is far from being the pure, sparkling natural water which we see advertised! // paul
Date: 7/22/2014 5:45:00 AM
Enjoyed this one..Got a chuckle as well..It soon will be freed though..Thanks for the visit to my page..Sara
Login to Reply
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 7/22/2014 8:54:00 AM
Ay, you're right Sara! but freedom usually comes at a price. Thanks for stopping by...always welcome. // paul
Date: 7/22/2014 1:03:00 AM
I enjoyed this - it's excellent. God bless you and thank you once again for your kindness in reading and commenting on my poem. God bless you.
Login to Reply
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 7/22/2014 1:30:00 AM
Thank you Regina; so glad you found this to your liking. You write well and I'll gladly visit again, time permitting. // paul
Date: 7/21/2014 4:47:00 PM
very nice one. Water trapped. For a short time it serves a good purpose, however! That could be a metaphor for something!!
Login to Reply
Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 7/21/2014 6:07:00 PM
Right you are Andrea...it is also a metaphor, but not enough words to elaborate. After the contest I might be tempted to add another haiku. // paul
12