Blown a Bit Out of Myself

The cloudscape changes 
and floods excited crowds of sunlight 
on a patch of playful sea, 
turning fat green hills 
into toyful bumping buses. 

The wind turns her back, 
shows me her cold white legs, 
striding away. 

The land is blackgreen, 
the sky is dark coffee; 
there is no exit sign. 

She rips open the sky, the wind, 
with a naughty laugh, 
she breathes sea sand through my hair. 

I do love you after all, she sings softly; 
old apricot flavoured philosopher, 
you ancient jingly bag of thoughts. 

I love you 
even though I cannot take you 
yet
Copyright © | Year Posted 2008

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Venter Avatar
December 4, 2008 at 1:46 AM
Hi Ciss G - yes, I like using flavours and other sensory experiences in my poems. I think it helps to build a more complete experience of whatever it is I want to communicate to a reader.
G Avatar
December 4, 2008 at 1:39 AM
old apricot flavoured philosopher, you ancient jingly bag of thoughts. Interesting that you should choose apricot. Gives it a taste, seeing tat apricots don't get much mention anywhere. I liked the description of the land and the sky. Very vivid..ancient bag of jingly thoughts.
Venter Avatar
November 25, 2008 at 7:52 AM
Hi Carrie - very kind of you, thank you! I hope to make some contributions here. It looks like one of the best sites I've seen yet. Enjoy :)
Venter Avatar
November 24, 2008 at 3:51 AM
Hello Carrie - I do appreciate your warm welcome and kind remarks. Thank you very much! Enjoy
Venter Avatar
November 24, 2008 at 3:49 AM
Hello Ernesto Thanks for your kind comments. I'm still feeling my way around this sit. I'm going to comment on your Shakespeare poem soon. Ciao Hello Carrie I do appreciate your warm welcome and kind remarks. Thank you very much! Enjoy
Richards Avatar
November 22, 2008 at 8:09 AM
This is an amazing piece! Welcome to Poetry Soup...I can see you are going to be one of the more talented poets here! ~ Carrie
Santiago Avatar
November 22, 2008 at 6:01 AM
Hey, glad you joined the soup, thanks for accepting my invitation. Hope you enjoy your stay. Many talented poets here. Well, this piece of art i enjoyed reading again and again, i'll grab it without your permission...hehehe...into my vault! I loved how you ended this poem, bravo! Rgds, Ernesto
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace