Blowing In the Wind

Everyone farts about 15 times a day, Everyone farts in their own special way There's loud ones and soft ones And one like a medley And others so horrendous They are silent and deadly There's those that are heavy And those that float on a breeze Whilst some happen once, Others come out in threes, Or fours, or more, I'm not sure, As I'm holding mine in So I'm not keeping score So don’t be ashamed For it’s natural and healthy We all do the deed Whether we’re poor or wealthy Even the queen when she’s had beans with hog Knows she can’t always blame the poor dog So let the wind blow And let it blow soon Or you’ll float away in the air Like some strange looking balloon