Bitter Endings

You are dead now and I am sorry, For all of the things you thought I should have been, For all of the things you wanted me to be for you, I hope that you feel your burden of life is lifted, And shared by a circle of angels. For you were once a kind lady, Fun and laughter were your glow, A proud and caring grandmother, Funny stories- I remember, The only person I knew who ate egg and chips on Christmas Day, And wore bright colors in her hair. You sat by my dog and held his head whilst he died, Because we were far away, You spoke kindly of me once, Made me believe I was beautiful, I know you loved music and a pint of lager in your hand, And your Welsh accent rang out at many a merry gathering. Yet even though you are gone, I cannot pretend it was all happy memories, It would be a lie and I won’t tell it, Just because I’m sorry you are dead. You were often cruel, You humiliated the ones I love dearly, Expected our lives to fit perfectly with yours, You lost many who loved you, Pushed them away and made them feel small. But I forgive you because I know, That your unkindness came from an unhappy place inside of you, And you suffered greatly for it at the end, I hope you can forgive yourself, For refusing to be loved and healed. I hope you find the peace you wanted, Wherever you may be now, I hope the world turns how you wish it to, Now that you have left it far behind. Most of all I hope, That your soul can move beyond all of the bitter endings you created, And find love and kindness once more, So that we can remember you fondly and talk of you gladly.