Home » Poems » Snehil Rankawat » Birthday Wish

Birthday Wish

I wish you wish Get me up with your honest kiss The place where I'm alone The only day I'll be blessed Yeah I remember the moment Where I passed The only presence of yours Seems fill my dream get me chest off I wish you wish Give me a long hug with your honest kiss Take me away the place Besides us nobody see The endearment your eyes Still split me in between I'll break the sun move the stars If against or your desire

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Pashang Salehi

Date: 8/4/2016 5:16:00 PM

Nice poem, but the form you selected is wrong. This is not a "Ghazal".... Maybe free verse....

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 3/3/2016 6:00:00 AM

Snehil,, Welcome to Poetry soup, I hope you enjoy the community. Here, you will find friendly poets who enjoy supporting one another. I myself, enjoy reading and commenting those who want to be read. The only time I give constructive criticism is when a poet desires it. However, if for some reason the poem is not my field I will guide you to someone who is more qualified than I. Stop by and read one of my poems if you like. My poems are not perfect, but I have a feeling you might like one. I encourage you to check out the contest page and read to receive comments. Tell me a little about your poetic skills if you like. It will be my pleasure to follow and read every poem you post from here on :) We are Lucky To Have you. Your New Poet Friend @-> LINDA <-@