Beyond

The search for comprehension:

Within my in-comprehensive feelings,
Beyond what others know, beyond what I don’t know…
Within the esoteric emotions of mystification, of
Bewilderment, of what I wish to comprehend…
I sit and meditate, trying to understand myself,

Within my heart, behind its door
That stands ajar,
 Awaiting reality, 
It awaits the pure blood in
Which it pumps…

Long, dusky nights,
Where I sit and ponder,
Contemplating, as I wonder…
Swimming within myself,
Seeping like water into my flesh,
Inhaling myself with my every breath,

Within the days in which I reminisce,
Between the tepid arms of my safe haven,
My harbor, my sanctuary…
I exhale a cold breath,
Longing for the ardor once more,

Surrounded by the illuming beam
Of the violet moon, I hopelessly seek for 
      Understanding and sympathy of the world    … for 
I lost trust in it…

When will the air purge the sinful ones?
When will the air purge me?
___________________________________________

Realization:

As I surged within myself,
I realized that a line is drawn between positive
Expectations and hope…that 
Expecting with too much optimism and crossing the line, 
Is not having hope, it is actually
Convincing one’s self that hope is there, even though it might not be,
It is awaiting hope…even though it might not appear,

Hope, is living each second with it,
It’s drenching each step with hope,
It is expecting it for the second you are living, and
Not for seconds ahead of you…

Within me, I saw a reflection of life,
Telling me to leave the reminiscences I long for 
Behind me, and to live the present constructing my future,
And not waiting for it…

Within me, I found the sympathy, the understanding…
What I have been searching for, and I realized that it is something that
Has always been there... within me, 

 Sympathy is only found within…but it takes time to
Be found for it is not like the disguised sympathy of the world,
It is invaluable,

I also realized that all will walk away, but 
One…

The person within…Me

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