Best of Fiends

Whatever rules they make up now in twenty-twenty-one ‘Little’ Frankie tells his dad I need to have some fun His dad said how about a pet, I’ve just embalmed a pup But Frankie moaned I’m sorry but I feel I’ve been stitched up You said I’m bits of people, some from bottles off the shelf I’ve had to social distance, Dad, from my bloody self So Doctor Frankenstein went out and told his ‘son’ behave Don’t have no wild parties with your pals beyond the grave The moment the front door was shut young Frankie’s on the phone Hello ‘Bolt head’ werewolf said don’t be sat all alone Throw a little soirée, I’ll give all the boys a bell And if you ask me nicely I shall kill some lunch as well It was sometime later when the sun had lost the fight And the moon so big and round had won itself the night Werewolf said your coffee, Frank, tastes a lot like mud Dracula put down his cup, have you got any blood Frankie pulled the bolt that kept his head upon his neck Dripped some blood into a glass and then he said Oh heck His head had hit the table and it bounced along the floor Just as Doctor F came home and opened up the door As Frankie's head rolled down the street his headless body strode blindly on slip slidey feet... because that night it snowed Werewolf howled, go get him Drac, with wings you will not slide But Drac just scowled, I’d suck him dry, his neck bit on the side Three drops of blood is all he gave to whet my appetite But now I’ve got a thirst on me and need a proper bite He noticed Frank (the younger) pass a girl all dressed in white Moonlight glinted off his fangs... It’s virgin blood tonight Drac swished his cape and mouth agape he flapped toward the maiden Forgot about his headless friend, he found all that degradin’ A puff of smoke, he pulled her close, and whispered in her ear ‘Be my virgin bride’ and she said ‘Ain’t no virgins here I am the mummy’s bride and we were going to a do My mummy got caught short and so he’s nipped off to the loo He might be quite a while because he’s wrapped from hat to shoe Which can he quite a problem when you need a number two’ Werewolf came along with Frank, who hadn’t found his head He saw a man come lumbering, is this him now, he said The mummy said don’t think I’m on some strange half naked caper I had to go behind a bush, there wasn’t any paper He introduced himself and then he gave an awkward smile I held that in five thousand years, don’t go there for a while Dr Frankenstein approached, a head held by its hair Frankie, Son, I’ve got your bonce I found it over there Werewolf said How goes it, Doc, I’m told you’re quite a smartie Could we all come back to yours and carry on our party Yeah, said Drac, the rules are made by people off their head This Covid can’t hurt none of us, apart from you we’re dead The prof said stay for supper... that’s a kind of evening lunch We’ve got no chips or cookies but we do have monster munch 5 August 2021 For Contest: Frankenstein Tea Party 2021 Sponsor: Joe Maverick