Beingg
At times i get so angry,
my brain makes way for the void.
A debilitating state of mind.
A collapsing state of being.
A never-ending shift from the revolving door of emotions and morality.
Coming or going is the question within my soul.
The Lord tugging at my heartstrings,
while the devil attempts to overlap it in brick.
Attempting to forever encase me in my shame.
Shackling me in the doubt that consumes me.
Sinking me further into despair that I drown out with bottles,
numbing whatever is left with these drugs.
Entertaining the most destabilizing thoughts.
Undoubtedly knowing if I drift off,
I'll drift off.
To a place of no return, having to trust in life lessons that were never fully learned.
Standing in line impatiently...
.
.
Finding it hard to simply breathe in
.
.
.
Emotions and drugs.
Breathe out.
If my life is over, will your lights burn out?
The darkness settled within this void
is like a person somehow faceless.
Unable to overcome a hurt that to this day remains nameless.
Prisoners of their own making, most would have you believe.
Building walls that can't even be seen
Choosing what they believe is protection from hurt
Becoming like beasts locked in cages.
Through the grace of God, not the place we will remain
it takes going through the storm to overcome the pain
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