Before You Judge Me
Every single day
I’m reminded of my mistakes
I eat steak with my mistakes
They swear I’ll be ok
They don’t think I have the capacity to break
My oven can be on
But I may have too much cake to bake
My mess ups are thrown in my face
Piled up up to my waist
Hearing about how bad I do everyday
Makes me feel like I’m a pile of waste
Mistreatment is a terrific taste
I gave ridiculous and raggedy a wedding ring
everyone comes to me with their broken things
and I fix them
Her , them , him
send them home
and sit alone with mine
I don’t know when I became
the person people call at 2am
but not the person they check on
in the daylight
I have held so many people together
I forgot I was falling apart
I said I’m fine so many times
I think I was trying to convince myself
nobody told me being strong
was just loneliness
dressed up in a useful outfit
It’s been since 2023 since I looked at a mirror
The mirror knows the tears I never show
the ceiling has memorized
my sleepless nights.
I wear "I'm fine" like an old winter coat,
heavy and full of hidden holes
Everyone sees the smile I borrowed,
but no one notices the cracks beneath it.
I'm slowly becoming a stranger to myself,
forgetting the sound of genuine happiness.
Some battles leave no bruises to explain,
only a heart that grows quieter each day.
The loneliest place I've ever lived
is inside my own soul
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