Timothy Hicks Poet Pantoum

Notes About The Poem

The pattern in each stanza is where the second and fourth line of each verse is repeated as the first and third of the next. The pattern changes though for the last stanza to the first and third line are the second and fourth of the stanza above (penultimate). The last line is a repeat of the first starting line of the poem and the third line of the first is the second of the last.

 

For example, a four stanza poem would look like this ...

 

1234 2546 5768 7381 ... this can go on indefinitely, just as long as it loops back to the original stanza, in the final one! Can use rhyme or no rhyme, but it's up to you ...

Bedtime - a Pantoum

... but then I see those inquiring eyes, that familiar look:
my brother wants me to tell him a story.
"It's way past your bedtime, you're just gonna doze!"
As he begs incessantly, "Pretty please, please,"

My brother wants me to tell him a story:
the one with the dragon and the king.
As he begs incessantly, "Pretty please, please,"
Until finally I just give in.

"The one with the dragon, and the king,
the pretty princess, and the slimy frog!"
Until finally I just give in
(as usual he's passed out like a log)

"The pretty princess and the slimy frog!"
"It's way past your bedtime, you're just gonna doze!"
As usual he's passed out like a log,
but then I see those inquiring eyes, that familiar look.



Written March 19th, 2016
For the Pantoum Contest Hosted by Eve Roper

♡Like0

Share Poem

---

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Vladislav Raven April 7, 2016 at 11:10 AM Hi Tim, Congratulations on your win in the contest. Love this one Tim, just real life. It is a joy to read this write today. As always Tim, the imagery comes through so easily and there is such a gentle flow throughout the Pantoum. You always manage to write something that brings some kind of memory from me. This has to be a seven Tim....Mike. Timothy Hicks April 7, 2016 at 9:25 PM That means a lot to me, Vlad, as nostalgia is a very powerful emotion. All facets of life is potential poetry, I believe. Thanks as always for being such a lovely friend ... your comments are like a cup of warm tea on a winter's morn: soothing and inviting.

Poet Destroyer A April 6, 2016 at 9:56 PM Hi Timothy, Congrats on your "Pantoum --Poet's Choice Win." ~LINDA~ Timothy Hicks April 7, 2016 at 9:13 PM Thanks Linda!

Dr. Upma A. Sharma April 5, 2016 at 5:27 AM Great work Timothy.. no wonder top podium.. big congrats! Thnx for ur kind visits n words to my page.. Timothy Hicks April 7, 2016 at 9:13 PM My pleasure, Upma. Thanks for stopping by, my friend!

Charlie Smith April 4, 2016 at 8:44 PM Well done Tim, a deserving win, congratulations ... Timothy Hicks April 7, 2016 at 9:08 PM Thanks Charlie!

Beautiful Scars April 4, 2016 at 5:56 PM Tim, congrats on your top placement in the contest! :)-luloo Timothy Hicks April 7, 2016 at 9:03 PM Thanks Laura Loo!

Jan Allison April 4, 2016 at 4:46 PM Absolutely delightful Timothy i could picture this scene in my minds eye - great imagery and very touching:-) congrats on your win:-) hugs Jan xx7 Timothy Hicks April 7, 2016 at 8:58 PM Thanks Jan!

Paul Callus March 23, 2016 at 6:17 PM A pleasant write, Timothy! When I was in my early teens I used to tell my younger brother and sister a story or more come bedtime; these stories where made up on the spot, and I quite enjoyed them myself:) // paul Timothy Hicks March 28, 2016 at 12:57 AM Oh sounds like fun :) I bet you came up with some silly ones. Thanks for stopping by.

Tim Smith March 21, 2016 at 7:57 PM I love this Tim. I can so picture my youngest daughter begging me to read to her...thanks for the smile...I needed one today Timothy Hicks March 22, 2016 at 1:03 AM Hope all is well in your corner of the world, Tim!

Maurice Rigoler March 21, 2016 at 9:56 AM The first pantoum I attempted was also my last – it drove me mad! I'm not one for compiicated poetry forms. You seem to have brought it off with ease. Thanks for reading my work. / M Timothy Hicks March 22, 2016 at 12:38 AM You keep on doing what you do, Maurice. You can make me laugh, and you can make me reflect (sometimes both!) ... Pantoums are fun for me, but they are not for everyone ... it's a lot of repetition that you have to try and hide! Thanks for reading me :)

James Inman March 21, 2016 at 5:17 AM I'm guessing you are a wonderful story teller as well as poet, Timothy. You have a very witty, natural way with words. Timothy Hicks March 22, 2016 at 12:03 AM Awww thank you James! Appreciate your feedback and compliments. Cheers me right up :)

Charmaine Chircop March 20, 2016 at 8:41 PM Aw so sweet this is.. I do see those inquiring eyes of my daughter, so I can relate to this.Loved it! Timothy Hicks March 21, 2016 at 1:53 AM Children are always very inquisitive! I see also, inquiring eyes, in your photo, Charmaine. Glad you liked my poem :)

Sara Kendrick March 20, 2016 at 7:27 PM Ahh!! Enjoyed reading this one..Good job..Thanks for all the visits to my p age..Sara Timothy Hicks March 21, 2016 at 1:51 AM My pleasure .. and thank you!

Andrea Dietrich March 20, 2016 at 2:48 PM the way you ended it , that was so wise to begin your pantoum in a way that would allow that last line to be there at the end. that is the art of being a good poet. To look forward to the ending and know how to get there. This is good stuff. I love this form. As i told someone else. Rhymed or unrhymed, you can't lose with a well written pantoum. Timothy Hicks March 21, 2016 at 1:45 AM Hey Andrea. Keen observation! When I first wrote this poem the first and last lines weren't identical ... it took me a bit, but after some editing I found a way to make it work! I'm not very good at keeping consistent rhymes with this form, but I love it anyway :)

Laura Breidenthal March 20, 2016 at 11:36 AM This certainly does warm the heart, Timothy, and it is an excellent addition to the contest. How can you say no to such adorableness? hehe. The brotherly love is very touching. It kind of reminds me of my little brother(well he is not little anymore) Right below my comment! Haha Always, Laura Laura Breidenthal March 21, 2016 at 1:42 AM Used to be David Breidenthal ^__^ ~Laura Timothy Hicks March 21, 2016 at 1:22 AM I thought that may have been your brother, but he seems to have a different last name ... did it used to be Joshua Breidenthal on the Soup? Glad to warm you heart, Laura. This was a cutesy write for me.

David William Breidenthal March 20, 2016 at 11:31 AM This poem can be traced back in childhood years. :) I rated this poem a 7 because of how amazing it is and the eagerness that your brother had reminds me of me a lot. This made me smile from the bottom of my heart. An excellent verse. You gotta teach me how to write a Pantoum. That looks like an intriguing style to write in. Timothy Hicks March 21, 2016 at 1:02 AM Happy that this moved you in a personal way, JW. The days of childhood story-telling are priceless. You should see in my notes now, how to write a pantoum :)

Robert Heemstra March 20, 2016 at 7:05 AM Reminds me of my babysitting nightmare! Okay to be honest wasn't as bad as it sounds. Babysitting my baby cousin back in the Eighties and the baby just wouldn't stop crying! Luckily he cried himself right to sleep. Great read! Timothy Hicks March 21, 2016 at 12:22 AM Thanks Robert! Kids are such a handful (but also a bundle of love if you can work past their craziness).

Kimberly Heller March 20, 2016 at 3:16 AM love it! fun and cute! Timothy Hicks March 21, 2016 at 12:16 AM Thanks Kimberly. Sweet of you to say.