Bedlam of the Chamber

The chaos in my heart, The turbulence within my chamber, A sea in tempestuous rage, A sudden, rapid turning of the pages of a book, An uproar gnawing at my mind— Tranquil, I still seek to find. I walk into the embrace of the day, I walk into the loveliness of its morning light, Desiring its warmth and beauty, Hoping to look through its lens, Longing to soar in the colours of its grace. The chaos within me finds its way through, The tumult escapes from its chamber, I’m fighting to regain control. The chaos in my heart is a recalcitrant child; It refuses to be pacified. It’s an age-old adventure, An endless path filled with mysteries, A wonderland of enigma. Seeking the light hasn’t yet made a difference, Searching the depths hasn’t quenched its flames; It’s a monster glaring at my window. I once told a sage that I feel like Paul in the Bible— A thorn in his flesh, Darkness in his soul, An agent of Satan buffeting him. He sought the Lord for deliverance, But three times brought no difference— Only a word of truth and consolation. He said I didn’t understand what Paul meant, But I believe I do; Won’t the vessel know its contents? Won’t the bearer recognize the weight of the load? As much as I long for the strength of the Lord, I desire the tranquillity of a river. April 21, 2025.