Beads Balls and Bangles

Well some they say though straight or gay Get fun from innuendo While others wait ‘til dark To get their kicks outside your window Some do the deed without a sound Some labour in the dark While others roars would wake the dead Some sing out like a lark Variety’s the spice of life And while there’s a great selection We’ve all been screwed from time to time At every new election There’s watersports and bondage There’s even golden showers Beware though not to mix the two Or you’ll stay wrapped up for hours Some wear a mask with eye-holes Or some dangerous protrusion Some sport a tail or riding crop While lost in their delusion Some women favour veggies To chippies sparks or plumbers They relish every celery stick Or juicy green cucumbers There’s tales that tell of fishermen Quite partial to a skate Though fond of fish I always was I prefer mine on a plate Some wrap up like an onion For fear their skin is showing While some rush in all fingers and thumbs With boobs and buttocks glowing There are those without a conscience Who swear they’re not the owner Oh deary me it had to be Someone elses ***** Though some would up and go all night Some finish in a minute While others just the thought alone Would push them past their limit While girls dress up as men And Lads like Cinderella It takes a little work sometime To tell female from fella Uniforms are common place Considered rather arty A sturdy pair of coppers cuffs Are the rave at swingers parties There’s beads and balls and bangles They may become a habit And a whirling whirring weapon They call the Rampant Rabbit When picking out a present For your partners Xmas box Have Duracell a plenty In her little Xmas socks So while sex it has its ups and downs Even Daniel would agree It’s a sure fire cure for unwanted frowns And it beats a cup of Tea