Be Careful What You Say to a Mother

"Unfit mother."
"You have too many kids."
"Just grow up and be a mum."

"I wouldn't want you
to be my mum."

"How can I expect you
to love me?
You can't even love
your own daughter."

Identity.
Identity.
Identity.

"So you're the one
being irresponsible—
not using contraception."

"You don't deserve 
to be a mother."

"Mum, Dad—
I'm pregnant."

"You're joking."

"Mum—
I'm so happy."

"I've always wanted
seven children."

"Well, now you have
to raise them."

You tried
to break me down
with your words—

dismantle me,

fit me into
a neat little package
so I would be
easier to understand.

So I would be
more like you.

More quiet.
More sensible.
More acceptable.

More…

But you never stopped
to ask me why.

Why did I want
to be a mother
so badly?

Why was it
my dream?

Why did having seven
make me so happy?

You never took
the time
to sit with me
and ask

why.

Instead
you looked
and criticised.

And my identity
fell to pieces.

From

Mother:
Kind.
Sweet.
Gentle.
Patient.

To

Overwhelmed.
Hurt.
Frustrated.
Angry.

Broken.

Identity shattered.

So…

You win.

I have no strength left.
No confidence left.

I'm no good at this.

I failed.

You were right.

I should never have
been a mum.

Identity.
Identity.
Identity.

I'll go away now
like you asked.

But please be careful
what you say
to the next mum.

She just wants
one thing:

to raise her children
in love and peace.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2026

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Haywood Avatar
June 26, 2026 at 2:00 PM
Other family members can burden us with criticism and finally we are mentally exhausted, throw our hands up, and appear to surrender. Don't let it affect you. Prove them wrong and share and show the love you have openly with all of the children. I felt your expression and it shook me. Keep your grey friend and walk as much and whenever you can. I'm sure others feel the same. This was a very good expression, it was very open and an intimate sharing experience.
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