Avoiding Happy

as happiness avoids me you leave with her the one and you plot to entreat yourself to friged abandonments and you still ask "do i trust you?" and seem surprised when i say no you pretend sadness and sorrow but you dont understand you have never known those true feelings you act like the wounded man like you need protection weaving your sunlit starry web you crave her warmth as i constantly know you show the obvious with an obvious grin and yet i cant help but think that loyalty will follow her and love will warn her in the presence of white marble pillars i dont know if she loves me and still i trust he more than myself i cant stop unthinkable logical falsehoods persuade my mind of otherwises and other ties you lied and cheated to win her heart when i failed with sincerity i dont understand i showed her love and you restorativly remove her stare