Autobiography of a Nervous Nobody

every day- wake up. smoke before the thoughts of you wake up. drink my coffee on the couch. pour an extra cup for you. end up drinking both- i am wired. i have to stay so focused on doing my own thing. focus too hard and crumble. i can still smell your skin on my sheets. i want to lay in bed all day, get high until you float away. i feel it all at once, and then nothing at all. missed my doctors appointment because you were supposed to go with me. everywhere i go you were supposed to go with me. now i'm doing it alone with you half way down the globe. i pray that i can sustain my love, although time has never made me warmer.