ayana rivera Poet Free verse

at the altar, I see you

we have never fought
but in my head with time we always do,
I love him truly,
but at the altar I see you.

I feel the guilt,
so in some f*ed up way I know it’s not wrong.
I know it hurts him when I space off
and can’t tell him what I’m thinking on.

does our potential haunt you at night
like it does for me?
everything you told me that day
did you even mean it?

or was I just niéve enough
to still believe it?

no goodbyes were said,
no doors were closed.
just silence thick enough
to swallow what we almost chose.

and I don’t want you back
I want the ache to end.
I want the ghost of who we were
to stop pretending we were friends.

so tell me
was it timing,
or were we never brave?
because I’m trying to love a future
that your shadow still invades.

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