Artists Are Humans Too 'Part 1

I was thinking that maybe it isn't the right time to talk about my feelings, but I've had enough of pretending that I'm strong, CAN'T say it's okay when everything around me is so messy! I'm so depressed and I have no shame to admit it! 'Cause I'm human, and i still can't understand what did I do wrong to be hated, threatened , and attacked for things I've never said or done and can't even understand how it came up??? Before my debut as a poet and slam poetry artist my oldest sister told me: "artist's life is so difficult you need to be careful" i remember i said that I'm just slampoetry artist , people will just have to ignore me if they won't like me then she replied : " you've got a special talent and you're mysterious artist, maybe you will be followed by one person and one million haters so you should be strong" ! but in my head i was saying people don't really appreciate poetry so what would happen? Back then, i couldn't really understand her words, but today i do 'Cause i feel supa dupa lonely and hurt!!! I was so excited two years ago,' Cause I was preparing something new and presenting unique style, since then i gave all my time energy and money to release catchy and meaningful art and to learn English, knowing that i won't earn money from my poetry but i could at least get a pure love and being helpful to whom used to feel misunderstood somehow! I never complained about living alone, i had many painful experiences with friends since my high school days , i was never me, trying to be good to them while ignoring myself, doing things I never wanted to do just 'Cause i didn't want to feel rejected but i was feeling lonely , even though many persons were around me, but being someone who never looked like me with those who didn't care about my heart was so painful, that's why i chose to find myself, yes i don't have friends and I'm not looking for fake friends, i believe that being alone doesn't mean we're lonely, it's much better than being bothered and underestimated . I chose to hide my real identity and face even though it's so freaking hard to deal with it , just 'Cause i don't want to be famous or recognized i don't want to join the celebrity's jungle where everyone fights for stupid and transient stuffs, and i don't like to talk about my problems or expose my heart on Instagram and Twitter just to get more attention, it's not my style so why you judge me every single day?