Artificial Sweeteners

they come to you as if honey-glazed & tip-toeing on lilac petals always smiling always politely congratulating for acts that anyone could really do squeaky clean with sparkling white teeth that outshine those found on toothpaste commercials always agreeing with you always going out of their way to accommodate regardless whether you plan on spending a moment longer with them always asking questions about your life as if it is relevant to their own even if this is the first time you have ever met them & when they do it they do so nodding as if to punctuate every point you make about the seemingly uninteresting things of which you pass on in the attempt to get rid of them bouncing with unlimited energy as if they mixed the purest coke in their morning allotment of oatmeal (to play tricks on their heart) & interjecting bits about their own lives which you never asked about which you never cared about which make you want to get out of said situation quicker than two shakes of a lamb’s tail (whatever that means)