Are All Lavenders Stupid

The greens are all about themselves, boasting and bragging. With gang signs that tell of their beliefs in plants, not people. It is hard to miss them; they wear tattoos on their cheeks. The purples despise the greens. They think they are pompous. Are all of them pompous? I ask my uncle, who is a member of purple. All of them he says, slapping his newspaper down hard. Every single one of them? I ask. I am eight. I do not know anything. He stares at me. Go talk to your aunt, he says. My aunt is a lavender. She is a misogynist genius. I am on my way to a protest, she tells me. Get out of the way. What are you protesting? Women’s rights she tells me. Lavenders are stupid they should not have them. I am eight, and confused. Aren't all women lavenders? I ask. She nods. Does this mean all women are stupid? I wonder.... Or only women my aunt knows? So all women are stupid? I ask. Yes, she assures me, as she polishes her bullhorn. All lavenders are women, and all women are ignorant. Only purples should have the right to vote. Even you? I ask her. Are you stupid too? She throws back her head. Laughter fills the room. Especially me! She says. Just ask your uncle. Purple yells from the living room “She sure is!”