April 10th

Getting up this morning has never seemed so hard. The space between the floor and my hanging feet as I sit on the edge of my bed has never seemed so high. It's as if I'm sitting at the top of the Empire state building, looking down at this materialistic world. OH HOW we've become so attached to things that only satisfy our greed, instead of our happiness. Perhaps that's why, although the sun shines the air is still cold. Because when we exhale (Deep breathe in and out) That carbon dioxide is cold like our hearts. Perhaps that's why we use alcohol, oxycontin, marijuana, and cocaine because we have become so plain that we need these stimulants to stimulate our bodies with false feelings. But I guess these false feelings are the closest we can get to real feelings. (sigh). This world I choose not to accept. Because although this might be the way things are, that doesn't determine the way they ought to be.