Apoplectic Begat Comatose



Eh, Bebe ... 
clueless you with the wide eyes open, 
which can’t see

So apoplectic of heart,
paralyzed by the cobra sway
of changeling channel charmer words

Gen Z baby gloomer 
remote diaphragm controlled,
go back to analog sleep

Oh  oh ... video comatose — 
Nightmares begat by daydreams
of reel digital silver screams

Lost Vegas patch-eye vision
of one arm pulled down
And the coins keep trickling
into your open palms

Baby Bebe gon umbilical vault cray  cray
Cut the cord of the eyelid dark violet curtains ... 
bling-bling blind birth 
shut the womb of twin retinal glow dearth

So aorta slow,
slug cranial coma critical ... 
lobotomy comatose

Virtual voices say:
eh, Bebe — 
Pull the plug ... let the dying vapors go,
expired from a necrotic nasal

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018



Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 10/24/2018 7:53:00 PM
Theme aside, your word choice is gorgeous, and I like juxtaposition of a serious topic with a languid, coaxing tone (reflective of the hypnosis/snake charming) 4/4 (I promise this is the last one, and sorry if this is a bit spammy of me. Gosh, I just have so much to reflect on, and will in the future with this poem. Extraordinarily written)
Login to Reply
Date: 10/24/2018 7:52:00 PM
"apoplectic begat comatose" is a powerful question. It'll hurt more if you struggle- but to remain docile is in itself painful, for we are not dumb. Surrender can be a tactic in a fight-or-flight situation (another binary), but what if it isn't on our own terms? Apologies for the cryptic nature, but I wanted to communicate how brilliantly unnerving your poem is, and I don't have a succinct analysis (that's part of the beauty). 3/4
Login to Reply
Date: 10/24/2018 7:46:00 PM
I like the theme of open/closed and digital/analog - examination of binaries, especially with the eye and womb imagery. There are things we perceive as binaries that aren't, and vice versa. Fatalism, how much we think we can effect change...humans are unique in that we may be the only beings able to attain such wisdom/awareness of our condition, and yet, enlightenment can make us feel all the more trapped. 2/3
Login to Reply
Date: 10/24/2018 7:38:00 PM
Wow- I would say I'm at a loss for words, but I do have many, just not a neat, coherent way to arrange them. I can't recall the last time I read something that left me with such...malaise. But it's a great type of discomfort that will keep me up at night and stretch parts of my brain that don't get a lot of exercise. I'd love to know any of the thoughts that played a role in this piece. (Or perhaps my curiosity is a perfect example of falling into the trap of assumed vigilance/awareness) 1/2
Login to Reply
Date: 10/14/2018 2:01:00 PM
"Gen Z baby gloomer remote diaphragm controlled, go back to analog sleep"; I am awed by your metaphorical talents, Freddie.
Login to Reply
Get a Premium Membership
Get more exposure for your poetry and more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Reflection on the Important Things

Member Area

My Admin
Profile and Settings
Edit My Poems
Edit My Quotes
Edit My Short Stories
Edit My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder

Soup Social

Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us

Member Poems

Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread

Member Poets

Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest

Famous Poems

Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100

Famous Poets

Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War

Poetry Resources

Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetics
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
Store
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter