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Apoplectic Begat Comatose

Eh, Bebe ... clueless you with the wide eyes open, which can’t see So apoplectic of heart, paralyzed by the cobra sway of changeling channel charmer words Gen Z baby gloomer remote diaphragm controlled, go back to analog sleep Oh oh ... video comatose — Nightmares begat by daydreams of reel digital silver screams Lost Vegas patch-eye vision of one arm pulled down And the coins keep trickling into your open palms Baby Bebe gon umbilical vault cray cray Cut the cord of the eyelid dark violet curtains ... bling-bling blind birth shut the womb of twin retinal glow dearth So aorta slow, slug cranial coma critical ... lobotomy comatose Virtual voices say: eh, Bebe — Pull the plug ... let the dying vapors go, expired from a necrotic nasal

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018




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Date: 10/24/2018 7:53:00 PM
Theme aside, your word choice is gorgeous, and I like juxtaposition of a serious topic with a languid, coaxing tone (reflective of the hypnosis/snake charming) 4/4 (I promise this is the last one, and sorry if this is a bit spammy of me. Gosh, I just have so much to reflect on, and will in the future with this poem. Extraordinarily written)
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Date: 10/24/2018 7:52:00 PM
"apoplectic begat comatose" is a powerful question. It'll hurt more if you struggle- but to remain docile is in itself painful, for we are not dumb. Surrender can be a tactic in a fight-or-flight situation (another binary), but what if it isn't on our own terms? Apologies for the cryptic nature, but I wanted to communicate how brilliantly unnerving your poem is, and I don't have a succinct analysis (that's part of the beauty). 3/4
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Date: 10/24/2018 7:46:00 PM
I like the theme of open/closed and digital/analog - examination of binaries, especially with the eye and womb imagery. There are things we perceive as binaries that aren't, and vice versa. Fatalism, how much we think we can effect change...humans are unique in that we may be the only beings able to attain such wisdom/awareness of our condition, and yet, enlightenment can make us feel all the more trapped. 2/3
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Date: 10/24/2018 7:38:00 PM
Wow- I would say I'm at a loss for words, but I do have many, just not a neat, coherent way to arrange them. I can't recall the last time I read something that left me with such...malaise. But it's a great type of discomfort that will keep me up at night and stretch parts of my brain that don't get a lot of exercise. I'd love to know any of the thoughts that played a role in this piece. (Or perhaps my curiosity is a perfect example of falling into the trap of assumed vigilance/awareness) 1/2
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Date: 10/14/2018 2:01:00 PM
"Gen Z baby gloomer remote diaphragm controlled, go back to analog sleep"; I am awed by your metaphorical talents, Freddie.
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Book: Shattered Sighs