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Antidote

I wish my brain could keep up with itself. The thinking part moves so quickly, so that the remembering part is left to play catch up. So many beautiful thoughts and statements. By beautiful I mean horrific but eloquent of course. The horrific eloquence of a well read mad man. That was poetic wasn’t it? We tend to take those poetic souls more seriously. I am guilty of this as well considering how seriously I take myself. But then there is the struggle of my duality. I can see the only reason I find myself unique in all seriousness is my poeticism, but then seeing how unique I am in my own understanding starts the process over again of thinking myself superior. My superiority complex truly makes me loathe myself, and somehow vice versa. Madness is humbling isn’t it. We all have a tiny bit in us. Some were blessed with a dose healthy enough to be deemed “creative geniuses’, others drowned in it’s consequences. Others have the largest burden of all- not knowing how much they contain. We are all a little mad. Just a little. We’ve all had had a moment where we saw the serial killers logic and thought it made sense. Then that jolt of conscientiousness screaming “WHAT ARE YOU DOING DON’T AGREE WITH A SERIAL KILLER” and so your inner crisis is quenched by the voice of reason. Those too far gone don’t have the luxury of that voice. Madness is not a poison but rather a lack of the antidote. We all have terrible thoughts, urges, desires, fears… But most correct themselves. Most have the angel on the other shoulder to remind us not to behave like animals. Those who are too far gone into the madness do not have that. They are left to stew with the animalistic instincts. They don’t have the antidote. Some I do believe simply have too much of both, and they go own taking poison, antidote, poison, antidote…. They are blind to which is with, therefore cannot leave one alone in their system too long, as it could be the poison. So they unwittingly take a draught of the true thing, and the cycle continues. I believe I am one of those people. The question is, on which elixir will I stop?

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