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Another Old Haiku

Night's blackness obscures
our very limited view.
Does dawn surprise us?

Copyright © | Year Posted 2012




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Date: 2/18/2012 12:25:00 AM
An interesting haiku. Give the reader words to make one think. Take care, Jancarl I understand it all.
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Date: 2/17/2012 9:39:00 PM
Lines one and two are very nice but drop the caps and punc. You actually have a double negative I just notice i lines 1 and 2. If you obscure a limited view you would actually make the view better. Just a thought. You may like to reword. I like the premis. Line three is intellectualizing, when you should be describing what the dawn IS doing. Or rather what is happening as dawn approaches.
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Date: 2/17/2012 6:15:00 PM
Very great work that I enjoyed reading..Yes, dawn does surprise me sometimes....Creative idea..Your presence at my work was uplifting..Sara
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