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....And Light Laps the Rocks

and light laps the rocks 
drooling on the crack of dawn
food for candy thoughts

quick licks trick the lip
hot, hot, fort, in disarray
oh, pur, pur, again

fantasylovenaturesenryu

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Samir Georges

July 6, 2010 at 4:35 PM

Once again I see why I have you favorite'd as a poet Deb:D I've stopped visiting the site/fallen behind on my comments due to some real life things, but poetry can't be pushed aside much longer, I love reading it too much:D Thanks for your inspiring comments on some of my work, brought me back to what's important!

Debbie Guzzi

July 4, 2010 at 4:26 AM

Yup but I still did this verse WRONG LOL derm U/M/ & E's (2 dern U's in line 6!)

Andrea Dietrich

July 3, 2010 at 11:13 PM

Quite erotic senryu, and Deb, I see you checking NIkko's haiku. I sure hope I did mine to your liking as well. I see you posted many chapters of a story. I have them from hotmail and will read them when I have some time, Deb. Right now it's all I can do just to catch up to comments here at Soup. I hope you are having a wonderful weekend. (which guy will it be tomorrow?) LUv, Andrea

Kabuteng P.Ink K.

July 2, 2010 at 6:12 PM

super thanks :) revised it now--and I have to agree with you it's better--thanks--I think I'll get the hang of haiku soon...:)

Kabuteng P.Ink K.

July 2, 2010 at 8:52 AM

I really enjoyed this one Deborah :)--the title alone was so interesting but sad to say, I had to eliminate it for the "U's" ---so sorry :( nonetheless this was such a joy to read with great visuals :)-- btw thanks, I read your comments about my haiku---uh-oh I got confused--haha I need sleep--so you mean I'll just leave out "ly", so it'd be "bright spark flowers"? I'll definitely review it again tomorrow when my mind is more awake, haha, thanks so much for the heads up :) --nikko :)

Rinki Nandy

June 30, 2010 at 11:13 AM

thats some imagination, i enjoyed it ...i posted a poem for the contest and its not a belief anywhere! so, may be next contest. Thanks so much for your lovely words on ...late at night...regards ...rinki.

Carolyn Devonshire

June 29, 2010 at 1:29 PM

This is a delight, Deborah, and I like the meter of the one-syllable words in the second stanza. Great work! Love, Carolyn

Linda-Marie Sweetheart

June 29, 2010 at 7:04 AM

appreciate.. am off to walk on the beach in a bit if I can wake Mr. Wonderful.. who just fell asleep..haha... thankxxxx.. TEACH .. always the pupil... luv.. in Hawaii... "Sweetheart"

Linda-Marie Sweetheart

June 28, 2010 at 9:19 PM

cool cool cool write .. like the repetitious wsords TEACH... going to a LUAU soon.. mmmmmmm lets see some dancers and muscles and smell the food of which I have no interest..mmmmmmhhhh.. nice Senryu .have not seen many lately.. with luv from the "Sweetheart" in Hawaii.. lualu.....