Kai Michael Neumann | + Follow Poet |
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An Old Fashioned Blackberry

weird as it sounds when my thoughts wield their all mighty hold

cast inflictions twist meaning and imply the truth of whats told


I resorted to reason which seems to be a contradiction of terms

of engagement with the enemy and looked for alternative turns


loops of neuronal contraptions needed to be tackled and changed

challenged and embraced until I thought they had been rearranged


its easy to see the set up for failure in endless loops of my mind

nothing was different however and demonic vultures still dined


on scraps of delusion and aberrations of what should be reason

self inflicted doubts never ceased to cast a spell of high treason


with me the traitor perpetrator victim and foe smack in the middle

propaganda and fake news on stage magnifying mere tarradiddle 


in false belief that I would manage to win such an unequal battle

but the rational bogles sounded a crescendo of my own death rattle


there was no escape from destruction and permanent incarceration

breaking out of soul’s prison required a completely novel narration


with belligerence out of the question and answers not anyway near

in anger anxiety depression there must be reprieve from all that fear


at first there was no mileage in surrender but I needed a sanctuary

found myself in carefree childhood in a hedge of abundant blackberry


not easy when you compete with others who took the fruit by the street

and the only ones left are the red ones not even close to being sweet


but this was a mind game self hypnosis affair of emotions over matter

a dream world to soothe reality an attempt to make everything better


once I engaged I could feel the sun on my shoulders or rain on my back

parched or soaked but caught in a dream state gave myself some slack


thorns and endorphins entered the moment and the windbreak did open

fantastic creations danced with all sorts of emotions previously broken


bleeding scratches on my hands went deeper inside when compared

to the rumination and dire doubts maybe I could succeed once I dared


the juice on my fingers ran down my arms and tattooed all that pleasure

like ink from a quill featherlight from letting go and could see a treasure


a day in the kitchen with Mom and the kids making pastries and parfait 

the joy of stealing dough and dipping the tongue into the jam on the tray


mixed with whipped cream or cinnamon custard as desert or main course

manna from heaven natural jelly’s joy ambrosia straight from the source


even clearing the table and washing the dishes hold magnificent memories

of kind times innocence and marvel straight from Eden and paradise trees


I learnt to take refuge from overthinking now resort to such imagination

overcome dissolution and frustration and enlist more emotional stimulation


at times I am the blackberry and scratch my logic into firm submission

even spikes give me hope love kindness compassion and realigned vision


18th August 2020

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