An Indifferent Christian Pleas

AN INDIFFERENT CHRISTIAN PLEAS TO A FUNDAMENTAL PREACHER Tell me what I like to hear! Come on, preacher, tickle my ear! Don’t preach out against my sin, Or you won’t many friendships win. I’m not as bad as others are, My generous heart reaches so far. As far as morals, I’m good enough; I try to do all the right stuff. I go to church, I even tithe, For I’ve been told that that is wise. I do not kill, I do not steal, Love and compassion I try to feel. So when you preach against the drink, You start to meddle then, I think. And don’t tell me I should not smoke, Or go to movies or tell bad jokes, Or gossip on the telephone, Or gamble when I’m all alone. I may win big and when I do, I’ll give a generous share to you! These sins are petty and relative, For that’s the day in which we live. You show me just one Bible verse That says these sins are really worse Than breaking God’s commandments ten; You show me clearly then, and when I’m sure God said it, I will quit And have no more to do with it. But those old passages you quote I’m sure that God just never wrote, Or else from context them you took To try to prove they’re in the book. Who wants to have a narrow mind And not some pleasure seek and find? Why, if I obeyed every one Of those commands, I’d have no fun! So come on, preacher, have a heart! I’m doing my best to play the part! I can only be so good, you know, And I will still to heaven go. Sure, I may get there by a thread, But that’s a prospect I don’t dread. God is love; He’ll overlook Those little sins of which I partook. Just as long as I get there, That’s all about it that I care. So just tickle sir, my ear, Tell me what I like to hear!