An Apology From God

Dear God, my love for you flickers in wavering shadows, Caught between the whispers of evening prayers And the intoxicating allure of liquor’s path. I am well aware that this habit I cling to displeases you, Yet I beseech you, dear God, how can I find repose? How can I surrender to sleep’s embrace? Your kindness, a radiant beacon in the vast expanse, Leaves me in awe. But within your world, cruelty dominates. From the break of dawn till the descent of dusk, I confront the unyielding face of Your world’s reality. A realm steeped in injustice and hostility, Where love and compassion are futilely sought, Their traces lost amidst the clamor. In the sheltering hours of twilight, I yearn to release the burdens that plague me, To erase the echoes of nonsense, pain, and regret That haunt my being. And so, I turn to the amber elixir, With its seductive allure, Hoping to numb the jagged edges, Seeking refuge and respite In its transient embrace. But God, please understand, I do not fit into the vast tapestry of your grand design. This world, this test of existence, eludes me, Leaving me adrift in its absurdity. Chaos and suffering entwine, Weaving a complex web that ensnares those within its grasp. And yet, despite this darkness that enshrouds, My love for you remains steadfast, Clutched tightly in my trembling hands. I extend my apology, baring my heart’s vulnerable core, Yearning for you, God, to witness and share In the weight of my burdens, The profound depths of my pain. In your infinite understanding, May I find peace and love, My spirit reaching towards The solace of your compassionate embrace. Dear God, let your smile grace my wearied countenance, Illuminating the path as I traverse the trials of this desolate place. In the twilight’s whispered prayer, Within the sweet surrender to liquor’s embrace, I seek but a fragment of peace, A fleeting glimpse of your boundless grace. Though I stumble and fall amidst this relentless test, Let it be known that my love for you Will forever find its resting place. For I am naught but a human, Flawed and fragile, Yet in my unwavering devotion, Let my spirit prevail, Resolute in its pursuit Of your eternal presence. …