An Apology For the World That Tried To Save Me

Dear world,?I know you are not out to get me,?but,?there’s something that can’t translate?from your eyes to mine.?I know you did not dangle me?from the edge of yourself,?but,?there’s something about the way a season?burned me so badly and made me miss all the rest?that makes it seem?like sabotage.?I know that you revolve around your own life source,?not myself and all the problems that grow from me,?but,?in the end ?your my constant.?I know other people live ?among my own naive head,?but,?you make us scared to search for each other.?Again,?you aren’t the villain here,?merely an heir of brutal truth, ?but,?don’t you have a say in this??Can’t you understand the difference between ?dulling and bright??My eyes are still healing. ?I cannot help but ?see the ‘evil’ in the word 'live’.?I cannot help but?see a motive in a kind gesture.?I cannot help but?stop trusting what you bring to me.?I know you are not out to get me,?but,?there’s something that can’t translate?from your eyes to mine. ?It has taken years to learn what?good can come from you,?like a wave from raging ocean water.?It has taken years to learn what?safe spaces you have grown for me,?like mossy trees in airy forests that I once dreamed of finding.?It has taken years to learn what?you do to stop me from hurting,?like throwing caution signs around the necks of past people.?The black is gaining back?a sense of color,?and the sun is back to glowing.?I know you weren’t out to get me,?but,?there was something that couldn’t translate?from your eyes to mine.?You weren’t the villain,?merely a protector with too many vulnerable places?to shield.?You didn’t mean to hurt me,?you meant to make me stronger,?and I’m sorry that I it all came out blurry.?You did not dangle me from your edges,?you tried to get me to fly.?You were not ignoring my need for a light source,?you tried to show me a new one.?You don’t try to scare me with new people who are dulling,?you tried to paint the picture?that we all don’t look the same.?Dear world,?I’m sorry I ever thought that you were out to get me.