Am I Pretty?
They would whisper softly in school hallways
That the scale held the truth of your societal worth
Acne popped itself to the surface, comedones of volcanoes
My quirks already seemed to be forbidden, the way they'd avoid me
I was the friend with red skin and no way to charm guys
The blonde, skinny girl with skin clearer than Bahamian waters
She'd be the one in his hierarchal mind and wet dreams each night
How come honor roll and intellect never made the checklist?
My untamed waves were "crazy", just like my empathy
For those outside the bubble of teenage concerns
When I'd open my jaws, I'd end up isolated
Like social solitary confinement for the smallest offenses
Tears slid down my skin like condensation on mirrors
My eyes shed the water I skipped over some slight bloating
Did they even know what androgens really were?
Doesn't matter when you're thirteen and on your knees for praise
The scars represented the sword to the heart I got
Though ignorance plagued many peers for years at a time
Children asking children why the doctor hadn't fixed them
But they certainly were no masters of teen psychology
So I tossed cotton in my chest to make them distracted
All they wanted from me was an ask to skip breakfast
Not even foundation fountains and gleamy lips and eyes
Starved their requirement to toss profanities at me
But once I aged, I came to the deepest life realization
Not the kind that made you shout "Eureka!"
But that people have poor filters and judgement during adolescence
And that those sloppy phrases never stripped me of worth
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