Izzy Hawthorne Poet Rhyme

Alkie pt 2

Self destruction feels like normalcy 

Sober life feels like a chore to me 

Wanting peace and craving chaos Is a war to me 

Pictures in my head tell me who I oughtta be 

But with the weight of my vices I feel like I lack autonomy 

There’s a lot of reasons to drink these days.

That’s what makes it hard to escape 

Surviving in this economic landscape 

Working at a sex shop is sour grapes 

Especially when the wage is a low rate 

When the night is gone the sun breaks 

The empty room at “home’s” a reminder of my mistakes 

Drunk alone and sitting on a milk crate 

Cans of PBR around my feet
I’m feeling like a reprobate

Those times make me wonder why I ever did it. 

But then the 7th beer you slugged down hits 

And Youre reminded how it formed a habit 

Music feels like ecstasy abd magic 

And suddenly Youre friends with the whole planet 

Youre calm in situations where most panic 

And there’s always a party even when you don’t plan it. 

I guess it’s the fun I really miss 

I remember when I was young

We hit the bottle and the bong for a little fun 

The cannabis had helped me when my brain runs 

But enough time on the bottle. I come full undone. 

I burned my life down around myself more than once 

The worst part about it is I didn’t care 

For all intents and purposes I wasn’t there 

I had a lot on my shoulders to be fair 

But what was once fun turned into routine despair. 

On the streets and on my own, headed nowhere 

But even when my life fell into disrepair 

My only constant was the bottle, akways there 

Thats more than I can say for most people in my life. 

But don’t get it twisted i Aint bitter 

I won’t dismiss the role I played either

But I still weathered famine and stormy weather 

In the faintest of hopes that I would get better. 

Then when you decide to stop, no one ever tells you 

About what happens when you withdraw 

Spending a week or two curled up in a ball 

Feeling like  someone flung at a wall 

While the voices in your head scream thst Youre the worst of all. 

There’s no help out in the world too

Everyone will tell only god can save you 

But with all the  I been through 

Forgive me if I’m skeptical 
And find these empty platitudes are untrue 

They will see you as less, and you’ll never change that.

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