Ain'T Retirement Grand

I wake up at 5:30 most mornings Before the sun has a chance to rise Head for the bathroom as fast as I can To get rid of yesterday's Mai Tai I let out a great big sigh of relief As I wipe the gunk from my peepers Stand in front of a full length mirror Like Tarzan, in my trap door sleepers I sure am ruggedly handsome, methinks Could even grace the cover of GQ That's if they publish a special edition For overweight, balding yahoos Maybe I'm being too hard on myself I've still got a surprise up my sleeve Like running a mile in two hours flat Great feat for old guys to achieve Here's the crux of the matter my friends It's something I sadly must share Try all your life to take care of yourself You'll still wind up old with no hair © Jack Ellison 2012
Copyright © | Year Posted 2012

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Breidenthal Avatar
March 31, 2018 at 3:41 AM
It's the inevitable truth, yet at least you own up to it. I admire your positivity and resilience. You're truly young at heart. Always, Laura
Ellison Avatar
March 31, 2018 at 6:35 AM
Some call me infantile!!! LOL XOX
Harrell Avatar
November 1, 2012 at 8:34 PM
Oh, you are not an old man. Stop saying you are old, Jack. You are as old as you feel. You look like you've been taking good care of yourself. You know a term that fits you -distinguished :) So, you are a lucky man. Great write, dear friend. Love ya, Toquyen
Ellison Avatar
November 2, 2012 at 4:38 AM
"You know a term that fits you - distinguished" Yee haw! May I quote you on that? Thank you my dear Toquyen! You made my day... love and big hugs, Jack
Eastman Avatar
November 1, 2012 at 7:18 PM
Every morning I weigh myself as if that's important and I've gotta look good for the day... But I ain't going to town so add a little more butter to my morning toasted bagel, any way. At my age they won't be looking... I'm now an invisible old one... No one notices us as we wander around... But, yes, we notice them...
Ellison Avatar
November 2, 2012 at 4:36 AM
"No one notices us as we wander around"... lost souls just looking for love! Ain't retirement grand??? LOL I love you Carol! Big hugs, Jack
Bauer Avatar
November 1, 2012 at 4:52 PM
ain't it the truth! very funny, jack!
Ellison Avatar
November 1, 2012 at 4:55 PM
Glad it gave you a tickle, Ilene! Great big hugs and mucho love, Jake xox
Lamoureux Avatar
November 1, 2012 at 3:28 PM
You're the oldest kid I've ever met. That's not a bad way to be You may be old and balding But that's not the person we see
Ellison Avatar
November 1, 2012 at 3:39 PM
No... still pride myself with having a full head of hair at my late stage in life! One of the lucky one I guess... hope you're as lucky! "You're the oldest kid I've ever met" now I take that as a real compliment my friend! LOL Cheers from the soggy east!
Dietrich Avatar
November 1, 2012 at 2:53 PM
hmmm, I have seen a FEW guys still with hair into their 80's. hahaha. those lucky duckys. this was a HOOT!!!!
Ellison Avatar
November 1, 2012 at 3:24 PM
Less than three years to go! LOL Glad you got a tickle out of it Andrea! Have a great evening! Love and big hugs, Jack xxx
Campi Avatar
November 1, 2012 at 8:10 AM
This was funny, thanks. You bet retirement is great. Once I can start my day, I am on a roll. I still wonder how did I get so old so darn fast?
Ellison Avatar
November 1, 2012 at 8:18 AM
Same as I got so old so darn fast! Great life... great retirement! Love those roll-y days! Cheers, Jack
Burd Avatar
November 1, 2012 at 6:11 AM
What you've lost in hair, you've made up for in humor;)
Ellison Avatar
November 1, 2012 at 6:21 AM
Glad I could put a smile on your face and a giggle in your gazoo! LOL Love ya! xox
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace