Ain'T Retirement Grand

I wake up at 5:30 most mornings Before the sun has a chance to rise Head for the bathroom as fast as I can To get rid of yesterday's Mai Tai I let out a great big sigh of relief As I wipe the gunk from my peepers Stand in front of a full length mirror Like Tarzan, in my trap door sleepers I sure am ruggedly handsome, methinks Could even grace the cover of GQ That's if they publish a special edition For overweight, balding yahoos Maybe I'm being too hard on myself I've still got a surprise up my sleeve Like running a mile in two hours flat Great feat for old guys to achieve Here's the crux of the matter my friends It's something I sadly must share Try all your life to take care of yourself You'll still wind up old with no hair © Jack Ellison 2012

Copyright © | Year Posted 2012



Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 3/31/2018 3:41:00 AM
It's the inevitable truth, yet at least you own up to it. I admire your positivity and resilience. You're truly young at heart. Always, Laura
Login to Reply
Ellison Avatar
Jack Ellison
Date: 3/31/2018 6:35:00 AM
Some call me infantile!!! LOL XOX
Date: 11/1/2012 8:34:00 PM
Oh, you are not an old man. Stop saying you are old, Jack. You are as old as you feel. You look like you've been taking good care of yourself. You know a term that fits you -distinguished :) So, you are a lucky man. Great write, dear friend. Love ya, Toquyen
Login to Reply
Ellison Avatar
Jack Ellison
Date: 11/2/2012 4:38:00 AM
"You know a term that fits you - distinguished" Yee haw! May I quote you on that? Thank you my dear Toquyen! You made my day... love and big hugs, Jack
Date: 11/1/2012 7:18:00 PM
Every morning I weigh myself as if that's important and I've gotta look good for the day... But I ain't going to town so add a little more butter to my morning toasted bagel, any way. At my age they won't be looking... I'm now an invisible old one... No one notices us as we wander around... But, yes, we notice them...
Login to Reply
Ellison Avatar
Jack Ellison
Date: 11/2/2012 4:36:00 AM
"No one notices us as we wander around"... lost souls just looking for love! Ain't retirement grand??? LOL I love you Carol! Big hugs, Jack
Date: 11/1/2012 4:52:00 PM
ain't it the truth! very funny, jack!
Login to Reply
Ellison Avatar
Jack Ellison
Date: 11/1/2012 4:55:00 PM
Glad it gave you a tickle, Ilene! Great big hugs and mucho love, Jake xox
Date: 11/1/2012 3:28:00 PM
You're the oldest kid I've ever met. That's not a bad way to be You may be old and balding But that's not the person we see
Login to Reply
Ellison Avatar
Jack Ellison
Date: 11/1/2012 3:39:00 PM
No... still pride myself with having a full head of hair at my late stage in life! One of the lucky one I guess... hope you're as lucky! "You're the oldest kid I've ever met" now I take that as a real compliment my friend! LOL Cheers from the soggy east!
Date: 11/1/2012 2:53:00 PM
hmmm, I have seen a FEW guys still with hair into their 80's. hahaha. those lucky duckys. this was a HOOT!!!!
Login to Reply
Ellison Avatar
Jack Ellison
Date: 11/1/2012 3:24:00 PM
Less than three years to go! LOL Glad you got a tickle out of it Andrea! Have a great evening! Love and big hugs, Jack xxx
Date: 11/1/2012 8:10:00 AM
This was funny, thanks. You bet retirement is great. Once I can start my day, I am on a roll. I still wonder how did I get so old so darn fast?
Login to Reply
Ellison Avatar
Jack Ellison
Date: 11/1/2012 8:18:00 AM
Same as I got so old so darn fast! Great life... great retirement! Love those roll-y days! Cheers, Jack
Date: 11/1/2012 6:11:00 AM
What you've lost in hair, you've made up for in humor;)
Login to Reply
Ellison Avatar
Jack Ellison
Date: 11/1/2012 6:21:00 AM
Glad I could put a smile on your face and a giggle in your gazoo! LOL Love ya! xox
Get a Premium Membership
Get more exposure for your poetry and more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Reflection on the Important Things

Member Area

My Admin
Profile and Settings
Edit My Poems
Edit My Quotes
Edit My Short Stories
Edit My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder

Soup Social

Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us

Member Poems

Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread

Member Poets

Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest

Famous Poems

Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100

Famous Poets

Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War

Poetry Resources

Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetics
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
Store
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter