Afraid of It

At first glance, you would never know you were inside a prison.
See the perfectly lined books on his ikea book shelf?
That old wooden desk in the corner is almost too neatly arranged.
The Apple computer screen with the glowing picture of an exotic beach.
He's imagined himself walking on that beach, but he knows he never will.
He can't possibly go there, it would be too far away from this place.

This is the only place he feels safe, just out of the reach of "it"
He's not quite sure what "it" is, but he's pretty sure "it's" bad.
So he goes to work, works hard, so he can keep "here",
his place, this place, this close far away place, this protective space!
The more time he spends "here" the harder it seems to be able to leave.
It's strange the things people come to believe.
I've tried to find a way, I wish there was a way,
a possibility that I could retrieve,
this friend who lives in a way I can hardly conceive.

I moved away a long time ago and his place has barely changed,
maybe a few things rearranged.
It's the sameness that feels so strange.
I ask him if he is okay?
He looks uncomfortable in a way,
not really sure what to say.
Missing the time when we'd do things
I'd get him out to play.
That was a time he was a little less afraid
When I was able to persuade, 
but being away I've lost that power!
So he stays here hour after hour,
the voices in his head, louder and louder.
Sometimes days and days without a shower.

He relates to the world through his computer screen
Beyond prying eyes, he doesn't want to be seen.
He travels everywhere  but he's never been!
A four walled prison has been his only scene.
So in his room with flickering candles,
eating popcorn from a bowl with handles,
he imagines walking a beach with a pretty girl wearing sandals.
Thousands of thoughts he holds so dear,
yet not a single one will pry him away from here!
Fear is the only voice that he can hear.
A mind fully imprisoned, locked in a tear.
Today like tomorrow and yesteryear!
Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

Poem

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Godwin Avatar
November 7, 2015 at 6:29 PM
Well-written, entertaining and sad - left me with some questions, but I think on purpose - like I don't know who you mean, but someone you haven't seen in awhile, that you care about and, in turn, worry about. Then there is the universal truth of people living on a keyboard and screen - very good, Richard ... CayCay
Lamoureux Avatar
November 7, 2015 at 6:48 PM
A friend from my teen years. I moved away 22 years ago. I see my buddies when I head back home to visit Mama Bear.
Tor Avatar
November 1, 2015 at 5:01 PM
Richard I got so much out of this clever write. I see the obvious and that is when your physical freedom is taken away. The only thing you have to escape is to dream. He does that through the computer. You can't confine the mind. Love this theme Richard. Enjoyed reading my friend going to your next one.
Tor Avatar
November 3, 2015 at 3:37 PM
Thank you Richard for your eloquent explanation.
Lamoureux Avatar
November 1, 2015 at 7:14 PM
His is a metaphorical construct of the mind. The computer feels like a friend but it limits him developing flesh and blood relationships. He's able to hide behind the image he chooses to present to strangers in a land of accelerated intimacy. That world where inhibitions are discarded in hopes of finding what the soul craves. Sadly it makes the loneliness that much more amplified because he can't be that guy in real life.
Nunez Avatar
November 1, 2015 at 10:06 AM
Psychological drama going on with only one protagonist and you in the supporting role. Intriguing and actually happens anywhere, Rick. Sad how it can come to this. Wonder though why no family figures in the story. This read makes the reader want to find out more...Great write! hugs!
Lamoureux Avatar
November 1, 2015 at 10:31 AM
Sadly this friend isolates himself from friends and family. Highly intelligent, sensitive and unfortunately paralyzed by anxiety.
Horsman Avatar
November 1, 2015 at 4:59 AM
Oh you open up so many, scenarios here Richard. yes a prison physically, but i feel so many other emotions of being 'locked in' also, a thoroughly thought provoking poem...love it
Lamoureux Avatar
November 1, 2015 at 7:46 AM
Thanks Harry, I appreciate your comment. For some reason this piece has received very little response, I thought perhaps I missed the mark with it.
Nance Avatar
October 29, 2015 at 10:31 AM
We are a society of trapped souls, we live in a cyber world and don't leave the confines of our security. This character represents so many aspects of what we all may become. Well written Richard.
Lamoureux Avatar
October 29, 2015 at 1:48 PM
Thanks Casarah, it' always nice to have you visit.
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