Advice From Professor Hoose Gooser

We should do something Professor Hoose Gooser said. Of course this was years ago, today this old coot is dead. It is too late now said the new believers. We will be boiled alive. You are all crazy said the ignorant. They numbered a million and five. Climate change is a myth, the Redowner Drippers replied. Okay agreed the Sniff Puckers, but our relatives are boiled alive. Fake news! Screamed the Hillbillingers. Shut up you dumb clucks. We were irritated now, especially my scientific Uncles, the Chucks. Should we build a bomb shelter underground? People would ask. This was done in the fifties and it was a most arduous task. Professor Hoose Gooser appeared to me in a dream the very next day. It is too late, he told me. Grab your ankles, jump off a cliff and just pray.