Advice For New Cat Owners
It is most important to not hurt a cats soul
for it is the perfect balance
of nobility and ridiculousness,
be gentle with its finer feelings
they are more sensitive than yours.
Do be not laugh
if it scares itself in a mirror.
A cat is instinctual to the core,
a bewhiskered accolade of slapstick.
Clean its litter box, twice a day if need be.
It will refuse to poop on its own poop
unlike some humans.
Your cat needs attention,
it expects you to admire its coat,
its signaling semaphore tail,
its delicate pink tongue and beautiful eyes,
failure to do so
may result in fur balls in your bed.
Be warned
cats are not naturally forgiving.
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