Advanced Nouvelle Cuisine

He did his hash slinger training
Then with a couple of his mates
Set up this high class restaurant 
Where they didn’t bother with plates,
Just bits of brickkies rubble,
Guttering and such,
Jam jars and slabs of wood
Stuff not costing very much,

And they served minutest portions
Arranged with artistic taste
Just little appetisers really
So very little went to waste.
And they did the strangest things
Like serving food in hay
Even chocolate covered ants
One special gourmet day.

Folk came from near and far
Just to be seen
Eating his creations of 
Advanced Nouvelle Cuisine.
And they charged the highest prices
Just to keep it riff raff free
And so very very soon
It became the place to be.

They worked and they strived
Seldom long serving the same
And so they managed to stay
Well ahead of the game
And they thrived and multiplied
Were franchised all over the nation
With proposals from  America
And internationalisation,

They got gongs from Palace
And nobody ever knew
They’d only been to night class 
To do Catering, NVQ Level Two.
Then came a call from on high
The Palace of Westminster beckoned
He stood a good chance
So the Party Hierarchy reckoned.

It was touch and it was go 
But he only just got beat
Standing for the Tories
In a very marginal seat.
Thus he’d proved that old adage,
If you’re daring and brash and bold
The people will swallow
Any old garbage that they’re sold.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2023


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Date: 3/18/2023 7:41:00 PM
Love this, Terry! I didn't even see it coming! Elizabeth
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Ireland Avatar
Terry Ireland
Date: 3/19/2023 12:20:00 AM
Thanks Elizabeth- sadly I’m one of those who asks if they serve food on plates, and eat elsewhere if they don’t. As for the Tory’s …………
Date: 3/18/2023 12:12:00 PM
ha! you've made your point quite brilliantly, terry, and your last 4 lines sum it up so well...
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Ireland Avatar
Terry Ireland
Date: 3/19/2023 12:22:00 AM
Thanks ilene. All we seem to fret these days on TV is Celebrity Chefs fingering food. Seldom see them wash their hands though.
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