Favour Obinna Poet Free verse

ACHE

My heart beats erratically…
For reasons I can't explain…
I find myself in pain.
Each beat resounds with an ache.
I wonder…
How much more will my feelings take?
I wonder what could it be this time.
I wonder why I am lost in thought again—
Not just figuratively,
But in every essence of the word.

My hands on my chest
Do not pacify;
Instead they attempt to pierce through like a sword.
I hold myself up,
Gasping for air,
Screaming out of fear.

My desire to fade away grows.
I fear one day
I might truly disappear.
The urge grows stronger and stronger.
I walk unsteadily,
Seeking solitude.
My screams…
This might be it.

The fog of confusion
Swirls all around me.
I remain
In a constant loop
Of repetition.

…Laughter echoes from the depths of my mind—
One that tells a joke,
A joke of me.

Slowly I begin to lose control.
The sound of my own voice prickles me,
And a picture of me causes my heart to ache.
I wonder…
What is this?
This feeling of abhorrence—
Who’s it for?
…Could it be me?

Why does it feel like
It only grows
More and more?
Will I ever go back to what I used to be before?

The questions I ask receive no answer.
I walk,
Swaying from left to right,
Yet I feel that despite my resistance
I know that
I am losing this fight,
That it's getting darker,
My tunnel losing light.

I feel myself sinking deeper,
As if I never stopped falling from the heights.
I quiver ever so slightly.
I hold myself tightly
While I wait,
For each batch
Hits harder than the last.
I grow weaker with each hit.
I wonder, is this it?

My demise seems inevitable.
Yet I cling to hope,
Looking out into the void—
WAITING.
…waiting… waiting… wai.t..ing.
Wai…t..ing…
W..ai..ti..ng…

My waiting becomes longing.
Slowly it becomes despair.


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