About Alligators, Porcupines and Buttons
The importance of buttons is significant
Strung out on a thin thread of thought
Through the eye of a needle too small to close
For a camel to go through but why would they?
In Florida, sex with wild animals is illegal
Porcupines and alligators are not for people
According to the law it is also wrong
And this is not California
It is wrong to marry outside your species
But what about buttons and their needs
Ordinary inanimate objects require protection
From human predators under the law
Buttons can't testify in court
But they are still in danger
Who are we to question legislators
Who have our best interest at heart
Thank goodness for politicians who think for us
Without holes you would have no buttons
Without buttons you have no holes to close
Case closed
*Authors note: The fact is; Florida still has a law on the books in 2018 that makes it illegal to have sexual relations with alligators and porcupines. I want to thank them for that. Who knows what we might do if left to our own devices in the woods. (They should update the law to include marriages to wild species in the state, in keeping with modern norms.)
Our legislators have a continued concern for public safety. They protect us from the unthinkable, from perhaps plausible notions of deviant behavior. They protect us from activities they assign to us, their constituents, such proclivities to the absurd, that can only leave us in wonderment. We thank them one and all for that as well. Our tax dollars hard at work as usual.
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