A Wary Woman

I’d love to say that ‘Crusher’ Webb is one good mate of mine,
but old ‘Crusher’s’ temperamental and can act more like a swine,
and it don’t take much to set him off; that’s when we all show fear, 
so we don’t know how to take him, ‘specially when he’s on the beer.

I’ve been there when he’s lost the plot and really gone to town,
and it’s taken more or less four blokes to try and hold him down, 
when the trigger’s been so trivial, that most would put aside,
but not old ‘Crusher’, he goes mad, so the berth he’s given’s wide.

I hate to think how many nights that ‘Crusher’s’ spent in gaol,
from throttling blokes and busting pubs when he fell off the rail,
but the fear we have means nothing for he’s just part of our life,
so what must Deb be going through - his darling homely wife.

She’s just the nicest person, so it’s a bit like chalk and cheese,
the schizophrenic husband and his wife, who looks ill at ease.
It must be a living nightmare when old ‘Crusher’s’ at his best,
storming ‘round the family home with dirty water on his chest.

Thank God they don’t have children for this brute to terrorize.
It’s bad enough when he’s around to see the terror in our eyes,
but it was on a brief occasion when I spoke to Deb alone,
that I was shocked with what she said in quite a sombre tone.

Deb’s voice shivered lowly “These days I must be so alert, 
that I don’t become child bearing” and my answer is quite pert,
“But didn’t ‘Crusher’ have the ‘snip’, so no ‘hiccup’ would apply?”
and Deb replied, “Oh yes he did, and that’s exactly why”.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2020


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Date: 3/27/2020 1:06:00 AM
Another LL classic written in your unique, incomparable story-telling style. "I've been there when he's lost the plot"--just one of the poem's wonderful, colorful phrases. It really is true, Lindsay: You have no equal in the poetic story-telling genre. Bravo! Hugs x x x. Paul
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 4/5/2020 11:17:00 PM
G'day Paul … I feel we all have our unique style of writing and that's what makes this site so good. I must admit I enjoy writing campfire stories in rhyme that are humorous best of all. Your praise has me feeling quite humble Paul - thank you - Lindsay
Date: 3/19/2020 12:17:00 AM
Lindsay Laurie, Well this is one Rhyme for the books. And a fine poke and snip quip in one. Well done. -Richard
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 3/26/2020 10:07:00 PM
G'day Richard … thank you for reading and putting up a comment. I trust you're staying safe during these difficult times - Lindsay
Date: 3/13/2020 3:30:00 PM
This is hilarious, Lindsay, and your trademark end twist is as superb as ever!! Keep 'em coming! Regards // paul
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 3/16/2020 11:46:00 PM
Hello Paul ... thank you once again for your positive comment. I will keep trying - thanks Paul - Lindsay
Date: 3/1/2020 4:53:00 PM
hahaha. ANOTHER very well delivered punchline!!! Excellent.
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 3/2/2020 8:36:00 PM
Hello Andrea … thank you Andrea. I'm pleased you enjoy my style of storytelling humour - Lindsay
Date: 2/29/2020 9:07:00 PM
Haha! Crazy great, Lindsay! Thanks, Gershon
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 3/2/2020 8:35:00 PM
G'day Gershon … glad you enjoyed this humorous take that in reality possibly happens often - thanks Gershon - Lindsay
Date: 2/26/2020 9:32:00 AM
This wary woman is very wise. Terrific write. Hugs
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 3/2/2020 8:33:00 PM
Hello Cecilia … wise indeed, but playing a dangerous game. Pleased you enjoyed this bit of humour Cecilia - Lindsay
Date: 2/24/2020 3:09:00 PM
I love it! Another FAV for me! I never see them coming, but they are really funny in the end! Another master piece!.......pat
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 3/2/2020 8:31:00 PM
G'day PAT … pleased you enjoyed this version of possibly a reality situation - catch you soon PAT - Lindsay
Date: 2/24/2020 12:09:00 PM
The captcha code for your poem is, "DAT" as in DAT's REALLY well said, Lindsay! Aloha! Rico
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 3/2/2020 8:29:00 PM
Hi there Rico … suppose she could blame the stork for losing its way. Don't think that excuse would either - thanks Rico - Lindsay
Date: 2/24/2020 10:36:00 AM
Deb would be in deep water if she became child bearing, I think neither her or the unborn child would have a chance! Love the punch line! Great poem Lindsay. Blessings, Jennifer.
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 3/2/2020 8:27:00 PM
G'day Jennifer … can be a dangerous game to play and life changing too. Pleased you enjoyed this one Jennifer - Lindsay
Date: 2/22/2020 8:51:00 PM
Haha, they say blokes who have the snip become docile and obedient. Not in old crushers case though. Tom
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 3/2/2020 8:24:00 PM
G'day Tom … not sure about that. I missed the cut. Thanks again Tom - Lindsay
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