A Visit By the Mother-In-Law
A Visit by the Mother-in-Law
By Elton Camp
My mother-in-law lives in another state
Her annual visits I most intensely hate
For her daughter, I wasn’t good enough
So, from the old crone I get lots of guff
“To Mother you better be nicer this time.
She will regret calling you a ball of slime.”
Unless wife I obey and welcome the grouch,
Then for two weeks, I’ll sleep on the couch
So I did everything that my wife had asked
My welcome of Mom Bea was unsurpassed
I had a vase of flowers waiting in her room
And I was careful as to how dress and groom
I made sure the yard was all mowed and neat
And practiced the best way our guest to greet
Nothing at all must go wrong on this trip
I was determined not to make a single slip
“Come in, Mother Bea, and stay a long while.
Your visits are welcome and make me smile.”
But I will admit that it almost made me gag
To have to talk so sweet to that mean old hag
“Son, I am so glad to learn you feel that way.
I feel ashamed and don’t know what to say.”
I told her that the problems we had had before
I’d see that they never will happen any more
Our four-year-old son from his room came out
To see just what all the friendly talk was about
“Hello there you sweet little dear, Gram is here.
Into this dismal home you do bring such cheer.”
Joey then ran over and climbed up into her lap
Around him, Mother Bea her arms did wrap
Our son looked at me and so loudly he calls
“You’re right, Dad, she smells like mothballs.”
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