A Virtual Walk
If you are daring, strong of will and character, not adverse to hardship
or to long treks into the wild then the 40 day virtual walk
along the Appalachian way is the adventure for you!
Explore hill country all the way from Georgia to Main without ever leaving your Lazy Zee Boy. Each day, trudge, walk scrabble and climb, making camp in the open or in the rugged huts sometimes provided for long distant walkers. You must go forward in all weathers so bring suitable clothing.
No soft bed for you. A sleeping bag on the Livingroom floor is essential.
Grow a beard. Provide a bucket and some dry leaves for when nature calls, leave them behind the sofa. Turn off the air con.
After 20 days you will stink and so will your home, and you may suffer from sores on you buttocks, bring creams. inform the neighbors of your absence, take a cell phone take hundreds of pics of you staring into the distance.
In your backpack all the food you could carry is going stale,
eat it anyway and ration the meat jerky. Stay hydrated
drink from a large barrel you keep nearby.
You cannot switch the walk off until completed. At night keep the
headphones on so you can listen the sounds of the wild woods
as you toss and turn.
At the crack of dawn carry steadfastly on.
You have almost made it, now you are virtually stumbling
down from the last ridge but then disaster strikes your youngest
enters the room to switch on a cartoon!
Your official certificate will now always read 'failed'
and not long after your heroic walk your wife will leave you
departing angrily with her own virtual boyfriend.
Copyright © Eric Ashford | Year Posted 2022
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