A Temporary Fix

I let go. Finding that I still care. Placing blame as a means to cope with how I felt towards you. The rush of things that have transpired. The thought of things that may not be the same. In turn I lashed out in self defense in every argument you started. Receding every inch of my heart. Every inch that I shared with you. In that moment all you saw was disappointment. That not of my own. A deep hurt that signified love in a tender moment of hurt. A rash thought that just wanted to grab you & shake you until you understood. Meanwhile screaming on the inside. Screaming for you to realize that nothing could take the place of what I felt for you. Screaming internally for this pain to go back to the smile it use to know so adamantly. With nothing else to do, I let go. Falling forever in thought. Feeling my life crash against the ground. Nothing mattered at that time except how you perceived me. That deep well of affection that I so wanted to fall into again and again. That somehow that I tarnished everything that we shared. Until I realized that you never intended to feel the way that I felt about you. That you sought a shoulder to lean on in your own leisure. A temporary fix