A Tale of Feminine Forgetting

The opalescence of the early morning light flows over everything It touches over ever leaf, every tree, every exposed part of her skin She stares at the sky as the dawn breaks It shines brighter and brighter The dew illuminated with the power of the sun Everything around buzzes with the recharge of a new day Everything but her Volatile thoughts burrow through every cell Leaving her empty filled only with the brisk sweet air White knuckle grip on the rusty swing slowly creaking in the breeze Time stops for a moment as the birds go quiet and the squirrels hold their breath The silence was deafening so she screams She screams out every breath she has ever taken- She screams with every ounce of strength left in her- She screams out all the sorrows, all the pains, all the contradictions Gasping relieved from the build of feminine rage She sobs out the anguish of unrealistic self expectation She sobs in quiet determination to feel better or at all She sobs to release the leash wrapped around her heart which keeps her tied to poise Sighing she breathes deep even breathes of the fresh morning air In and out In and out She breathes in the peaceful calm of the perfect morning She breathes in self reflection of her beauty She breathes in lost ideals of enoughness She breathes out the snide backhanded comments She breathes out the monstrous detrimental molds that she’ll never fit into She breathes out the self hatred and regret and loathing Stilling she looks around for the first time since she laid down and clung hopelessly to the swing She smiles taking in the pink and purple watercolor sky She smiles noticing the slight breeze ruffling the viridian leaves She smiles as the the electric light beams which zap through the tree branches- They dance around the ground and all over her body in waves For the first time in a long time she remembers herself She remembers herself more than just a woman She remembers herself more than just a sister or a daughter She remembers herself more than just a friend or a lover She remembers herself below the depression and angst She remembers herself as a person internally whole She had forgotten her inevitable strength She vows to never forget herself again Standing in the warmth of the spring sun- She laughs