A River In My Mind

There's a river, she flows inside my mind. Drowning me in questions, answers I must find. She's peaceful at times, steady gentle stream, Just sending messages, whispers in a dream. Curious to play in it, cuz it's so clear and blue, Small little thought hints, what should I do. Other days though, she rises, waters overflowing, Drops self defense, those old scars start showing. Water rising higher, to a depth too far to see, Lost in unquenched desires, that river, she drowns me. Each time I dive, the bottom of her I'd try to find. Lucky I'm alive, over her corral walls I'd climb. Never have I achieved it, locating the thought river's core. Each time that I'd believed it, false bottom reveals even more. Overwhelmed, I am forced to submit and just sink. Die once more, in this river that fuels my ink. Last Breath, boiling water filled misery, Leaking out in small droplets, from the eyes of me. Then, Once again, her Tides always subside. Born again, at her streams; peace at my side. There on her shores, we'd begin this cycle once more Or so, it's the usual, but, this day I'm not sure. This day her tides are high and my, how they rage. She's roaring like a beast, ripping out of its cage. The boulders upon her once peace banks, Looks as though they've been blasted by tanks. Now just pebbles, they too will drown. As the river today, washes away solid ground. I fear her, oh, but I'm mad at her too! I'm running straight in, No plan of what to do. She's roared in my head, for the very last time! I'm diving head first, answers I will find. If I climb out again, If i outlast her great raging flood, my friends, know I'll be covered in tears of red blood So when you see me laying there, upon her shore. Go on about your day, complete your daily chores. I'll survive the red stains, the cuts so very deep. I'll Lay here and heal, while the river peacefully creeps