A Remembrance

I remember I remember the way you held me. And your intoxicating smell. I remember the way you kissed me. And the voice that came from your mouth. I remember the times of silence When we sat, hand in hand. I remember the first time That time you said you loved me. But I also remember the chaos. The tears I shed over you. I remember the time you touched me And I told you not to. I remember your hand on my throat Gripping so I could barely breathe. I remember the panic The panic that was in me. I remember the way you “loved” me. The good and the bad too. I remember the promise I made I will never forget the pain And I will never go back to you.