A Price Too Great

I just don’t know…..and yet I am called by the dark void of emptiness before me which with returned piercing glare refuses to release me from my own inward gaze For I stare into the cold eyes of a question which knows no blink, waver nor fade. Never before have I been lost in such fogged state of mind as this chasm before me exceeds my comprehension, bringing both disbelief and wonder, unable to turn away as if drawn to dim flicker standing on center stage calling like flame to moth through understanding known only between element and nature as humanity watches the mysteries of that love’s odd dance unfold. In the same way I long to explain my own inner calling , this need to understand while left with no grasp or foothold from which to proceed. Lo all would appear lost without answer as I face life’s riddle without ability to bring reasonable conclusion. And yet,, still....there is hint though but a shadow , a whisper, a telling perhaps more lies to this strange shallow void found within my logic For dispite my current doubt I yet declare myself a man who possess a mind of logical order and who by nature finds solution to all things presented. I in my history have faced the most difficult of problem without yield without flinch having never tasted failure. Thus and therefore now I refuse to walk away though torn by the unfathomable conclusion of presented logic. “How do I find my way to the joy of a life lived with you less passing over the bridge of never ending pain ?” Like moth am I - understanding the call yet unprepared to submit myself to that final solution Can it be the question is found not to be without answer but simply requiring price larger than I am able to pay? The haunting truth a solution real yet with price greater than what I am willing to give to live the life I want to live.