A Jading

the smell wafted like a dream.
charred wood and red smoke. 
“benjie!” she yelled
as i ran away down the hall 
raising my arm against the flickering heat.
“benjie, come back!” she pleaded. “leave him alone!”
i stopped 
and coughed.
hot air rushed across my face.
hearing nothing but the roaring smoke 
i froze-up --
torn for the first time
between Comfort and Knowledge.

then slowly 
out of the choking haze
came a whimper 
and a scrape.
and a punch shook the wall.
i peeked inside the sizzling arch.
hot pitch oozed 
from an overhead beam
caught fire 
and dripped tiny flamelets 
onto the hardwood floor.
he was there alright. 
shaking  
and sitting on the floor in the corner.
i whispered:
“what’s the matter daddy?”
he looked up 
through crazed eyes of fire and hate.
“go away boy”.
then he cried
and hugged his knees.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2014

Poem

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Woods Avatar
December 2, 2015 at 3:20 AM
The trauma of witnessing mental illness is rawly depicted through explicit sensory appeal as we observe the loss of the essence of what should be a comforting & nurturing sojourn of what childhood should represent & transition into. Children have initially little comprehension of such crises & will still act accordingly to age and maturity while trying to understand what the mind is not ready to conceive! There is a paradox here but not enough space to explain... Brilliant Sam!!! Cheryl
Benoit Avatar
September 12, 2014 at 6:30 PM
Oh WoW! I was minding my own business and reading your poem, something in my mind said "benjie" was a dog and I was wondering what the dog was going to do. then came the last three lines. Oh WoW!
Dom Avatar
May 11, 2014 at 2:07 PM
Good strong stuff. Congrats
Shiells Avatar
May 9, 2014 at 11:11 PM
Hi Sam, My friend this is Extra - extra extraordinary!! What a write this is and congrats Sam on the win thank you for sharing this write with us. Peace, Deborah
Nance Avatar
May 9, 2014 at 1:49 PM
Intense! grats on the win, amazing artwork of words you have given us
Walker  Avatar
May 8, 2014 at 12:18 PM
Congratulations Sam on your first place win... Verlena
A. Sharma Avatar
May 8, 2014 at 12:14 PM
Awesome write Sam ! Well deserved worthy no one win ! congrats !
Gibson Avatar
May 8, 2014 at 11:16 AM
Wow, Sam. Great win! Congratulations on a captivating poem.
A   Avatar
May 8, 2014 at 9:46 AM
Good morning Sam...Yup, this one, had my attention, from start to end... it is so so so nice to see, it was you I gave the number #1 spot in my contest... Thank you so much for enjoying and supporting my "ANY POEM" contest...... Stop by my latest blog --Raindrops and roses-- if you'd like to receive a cute Congratulations. Wishing all winning poets a great day. Love Linda :-)
Toil Avatar
May 8, 2014 at 10:38 AM
Linda, sweetie, I don't know what to say, except thank you! There are so many great poets in your contest. It humbles me greatly that you would pick mine. I want to thank you also for the many things you do to support this wonderful site. It wouldn't be the same without you. Luv & Hugs;) Ben
Kendrick Avatar
May 4, 2014 at 1:29 PM
Ahh!! Sad but temperated with other emotions..I hope not a real happening in life but just a work about a similar situation.Enjoyed reading your captivating work..Sara
Toil Avatar
May 4, 2014 at 2:29 PM
Sara, thank you for your warm comment. When I write, I close my eyes and wait for an image that describes my feelings at that moment. And then I follow that image wherever it leads me. This poem was just such an image. I have shared with you my family history with regards to depression. And although what I depict here did not happen, it is Truth. It depicts what I felt as a child at a particular moment. Thanks for stopping by..Ben
Dylan Avatar
May 1, 2014 at 7:39 PM
Oh wow the emotion in this..i whispered: “what’s the matter daddy?” he looked up through crazed eyes of fire and hate. “go away boy”. then he cried and hugged his knees. I want to cry... Sam you have to be my favorite poet Brooke...
Dylan Avatar
May 2, 2014 at 7:08 AM
Awesome poetry Sam.. just awesome.. I can see why you are number two best new poet of Soup.. hugs
Toil Avatar
May 2, 2014 at 7:05 AM
Brooke, I am moved beyond words at the trip you made to my page last night. You have made my morning most exciting;) I am eager to step deeper into your poetry today and at some point down the road to becoming close friends;) Peace...Sam
Perry Avatar
April 22, 2014 at 2:38 PM
Very emotional and visual. I love poetry that clearly moves the writer, and this is evident here. Great work!
Toil Avatar
April 22, 2014 at 2:53 PM
Hi Jennifer. Two words from your comment: "emotional" and "visual". I tried very hard to leave precisely those two impacts on the reader. It is so gratifying to know that you got it. Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a bit of yourself for me to treasure. Peace...Sam
A  Avatar
April 11, 2014 at 10:23 PM
HI SAM, the depraved , the depressed, and that need to be alone mixed in hugging emotion. you've painted a jading, with a well, choking hold. SKAT
Toil Avatar
April 12, 2014 at 6:51 AM
Thanks, SKAT, for your thoughtful words. It helps so much to know an accomplished poet such as yourself appreciates my writing...Sam
A   Avatar
April 11, 2014 at 10:05 AM
Sam, a gripping poem, I like the flow. The ending imagery is heartfelt, why no one wants to see their dad, in such tormented exhaustion. Sam you created a well tensed up, mood... enjoyed.. Linda
Toil Avatar
April 11, 2014 at 8:12 PM
Linda, I wish we had a way to communicate that wasn't limited to 400 characters. I just want to say how important your critique of my poem is to me. It motivates me to write and to post more. Some of these thoughts and images have been bottled up in me for years. Its nice to know someone else gets it... Sam
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