A guide for your dreams

Was passing through old Notre Dame, I spied the hunchback and called his name; Said someday you will not be the same, He said that's OK, there is no one to blame. One time I bumped into the Pope, Asked him how the 'ell are we to cope When everyone is jacked up on dope; He just said hang them one and all by a rope. Came upon an old backwoods still, I sat a spell and drank my fill. Told the ol' boys do what you will But pass to the young your brewing skill. On the shore was a fisherman, He had three dead fish in his pan. Saw footprints in the distant sand, He claimed they were made by his wife, Fran. Rode with pirates on the open seas And hoisted up sails to catch the breeze. Fought off both enemies and disease, Stole much gold with the greatest of ease. You can see I've been far and wide, There's been some strange things I've spied. Now if there are things you wish you've tried, For a small fee I could be your guide.