A Different Kind of Man

Dear God, I've perhaps calmed down - just a bit. 
I understand it's not all according to your plan.
I messed up enough myself, to have lost him, without your hand.
How could I let him continue though, doing as he was?
I broke our fragile trust, and now he discarded our blood.
Dear God, she was my best friend, other than him of course.
He was dating her, with my blessing, that he didn't leave her hurt.
But he was cheating on her, lying to her, maybe just trying to figure things out.
He told her he loved her, she was his only one,
While trying to bang my other friend. 
Not two girls, no, three - and that made him a prick.
He was hurting more than me, because he couldn't control his d*ck.
And yeah God, I'm still mad, in fact I'm pretty pissed.
That my brother, would turn out to be such a selfish hick. 
But I messed up, I told the truth,
After months of hiding his lies,
I couldn't, I wouldn't look away and close my eyes.
I want to blame you - I want to blame Scott - I want to blame the whole damn world.
But really God, who do I have to blame, except myself (I was a clueless little girl).
I thought maybe he could forgive me, maybe he could understand. 
But I guess not, I guess he's become a different kind of man.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2012

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Bordner Avatar
September 9, 2012 at 11:18 PM
I truly respect how you unabashedly use poetry as a means of thearpy Jay - I dare assume that God considers such straight forward dialogue as undisguised reality, a sign of dignity from from you, a gesture of repest for God's compassion - J.A.B %
Loveless Avatar
September 10, 2012 at 5:43 AM
Thank You For Recognizing What I Was Going Through...My Calls To God And My Own Thoughts Sorting Themselves Out...There Are Many Others, That Are Calls Specifically To Him
Bordner Avatar
September 9, 2012 at 11:20 PM
my spelling is kinda good!
Mister Roboto Avatar
May 22, 2012 at 12:05 AM
i rarely comment on poems, but this one got to me somehow. It is an interesting lament. words well spent. WRITE on,,,, RockstaR Lover.
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