A Bad Dream

Dangerous dreams flood over me in darkness and the weight of them drowns me like a tidal wave sinking me into my mattress and spiraling me through the rabbit hole on the other side to somewhere on sixth street forcing me into an open bar where smoke rings create halos and whiskey is the new smell of Christmas mixed drinks and shots in dayglow tubes round out the festive occasion but I have no reason to celebrate and I wish I could find anywhere everywhere to be but here I can feel the stench of this clinging to me like sweat and it would take holy water to rinse away the sins you're begging me to commit you portray joy and laughter but I know desperation that comes with the sunrise clawing like a vampire to the creases of darkness to repeat the cycle of finding an elixir to calm my nerves so I push, shove, and run my way to consciousness vowing not today one more day just for today I stay clean